True North

On Christmas Day I went to see the movie Lincoln.  It was an incredibly filmed and acted movie.  I'm sure it will win a few awards in the coming months.  But like many movies, I hope, it speaks to people.  That it will challenge them and spur them on in their lives.


One moment that really reached through the screen and slapped me in the face more effectively than any 3D presentation I've ever seen was when Abe talks about a compass and true north.

A compass will point you true north. but it won’t show you the swamps between you and there.  If you don’t avoid the swamps, and get bogged down, what’s the use of knowing true north?

Now, I don't know if this is something the president has ever said or not.  It's still an effective and powerful thought.  At first glimpse this idea could be seen as compromising your beliefs.  I don't hold to that opinion.

True North is a guide.  It's a way to know where you are and to check your bearings.  To know that you need to move more East or West.  To know where, when and how to correct your course to remain on your path.

Like the example of a swamp, sometimes you cannot simply press on.  You have to go around.  Or find your way through, at a much slower, and riskier path.  Maybe it's not a swamp.  Maybe it is a mountain in your way.  You can keep marching straight north if you like.  Perhaps you'll make it over the mountain that way.   Or, maybe, just maybe that path will defeat you.  Or claim the lives of those traveling with you.

More likely you will look for a pass, or a route that will take you quickly and safely over, or as close to those as possible, and allow you to pick up following true north on the other side.

Cause the only way to pass a mountain that is blocking your forward advance is through it.  Like a tunnel.  It's destructive.  To the mountain and those blasting through.  And you end up robbing yourself of the journey and experiences that wait in the struggle over the mountain.

For those who follow Jesus as their true north, remember this; there is room to move about.  Jesus gave a few very strong and specific commands, but they are also many broad strokes.  Sometimes Jesus will lead you to a mountain, or a swamp.  Don't blast through the mountain, or chop down a forest to build a bridge over the swamp.  Look for the detours and smaller paths that He will lead you to.

If you are at that mountain, it means there is a difficult bit of journey ahead, and you will be changed, challenged, and exhausted by it.  But you will come down the other side different.  Stronger, because your weakness allows Jesus to work.  Wiser, because your mistakes led to Jesus teaching you.  Better, because you spent that much more time in His presence, following where he leads.

No journey is a straight line.  (Unless you live in the Midwest where it's really boring to drive.)  Turning East or West does not always mean going off course and missing the mark.  Sometimes the road takes a curve or bend that eventually leads you back North.

Know where you are going, but discover the road along the way.


grace, peace + hope-Jesse

29/30 - Catch a Cannon Ball/In a Room Full of Emptiness

Another double post.  Should be back on track for Monday.
 
This first song, I don't remember when I first heard it or where.  It's from before my time.  I'm sure it was in a movie, but I don't know which one.  Regardless it takes me to Autumn.  The lazy guitar intro and gentle gait of the song.  It's a nice relaxing tune.  One I could have really used yesterday, perhaps that is why it came to mind for the post.

Song 29
    "The Weight" from the band, The Band, on their debut album, Music from Big Pink.

For me this song is more about the feeling the music generates, than it is about the lyrics.  When I read a little about what the song was about, it makes for an interesting concept.  I'll spare a recounting of what I read.  Just go to wikipedia and read the comments from the writer himself.  It is a song that helped me appreciate music from an era before me.  So, that stands for something.  Right?

Like I said, the gentle pace of the song makes for a nice relaxing atmosphere.  It makes me want to put on a light sweater, grab a good book and sit on the porch at my folks house while watching the leaves turn and fall.  It's just a laid back soak up the beautiful day, it's sunny, but with a chill in the air.

So, if you can today, or in the near future, just take a listen to this tune, and relax in the beauty of Autumn!
-----

The next song is a little more involved.  It was a few years after that "golden year" I've mentioned a few times.  It wasn't the best of times for me.  Mainly because of choices I had made.  I was far away from friends and family, and pushing myself further.  I was especially far away from one of the most important relationships in my life, Jesus.  Yeah, that Jesus.  I know now that he was always right there, but I wasn't looking.

Then one day I hear this song on the radio.  Back in those days I didn't have an iPod to block out the radio yet, and my discman wasn't always as reliable as one would want.  So I'm driving to work, and this song comes over the airwaves.  And it captivates me.  Mainly because I recognize the voice.  Chirs Cornell.

Song 30
    "Like a Stone" from the incredibly Audioslave on their freshman, self-titled album, Audioslave.

I would soon remember that I had really liked an earlier song from this album, Cochise, and found myself in a music store purchasing a copy.  I really love a good rock album and having the band from Rage Against the Machine with the vocals from Soundgarden team up...GOLDEN!

Like a Stone really struck a chord in my heart that day in the car.  The lyrics might be a bit cryptic, but some things really hit me:

In your house I long to be;
Room by room patiently,
I'll wait for you there, like a stone.
I'll wait for you there, Alone.

For me, in that feeling of distance from God, this song spoke volumes.  I'm not saying that's what the song is about.  But that is what I felt in it.  It felt as if the lyrics were my soul uttering what I didn't want to admit to myself.  And on an Autumn day like this, (gorgeous, sunny, chilly) I get reflective.  Not just on those days, but reflective in general.  And this song does a lot to encourage that mind set of reflection and remembrance.

So, with all this to ponder and think about, I leave another day.  And one behind. 

Enjoy!
-Jesse

27/28 - Lions Sleep/As We Sit Alone

Yesterday I wanted to post about a song from a great band that is still new to me.  I was introduced to them by an amazing, wonderful, brilliant, lovely friend in Jan/Feb of this year.  This band has a great sound and message."

Song 27
        "When Death Dies" from the album Ghosts Upon the  Earth by Gungor.

The guitar picking at the beginning of the track brings to mind cold rain falling on windows and puddles in late Autumn.  There is a chill in the song, but it is not without hope.  The lyrics are just captivating and convey a simple message, that in death there is life.

Where death dies all things live
Where it comes poor men feast
Kings fall down to their knees
When death dies all things live

It seems a contradiction but it's about the end of death.  When death dies...all things live.  There is new beginning and rebirth.  Just like the season.  I posted about Autumn being the conception of Spring a few songs ago.  This song captures that, and more, in this song.  Because it doesn't just describe the season, but life.  And if you know me you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't know me that well...hey, send me an email and ask me what I'm going on about.


Song 28/Day 28
        "Just Breathe" from the album Backspacer by Pearl Jam.

I came across this song while watching the hilarious, yet moving comedy, "Life As We Know It."  It's a cheesy, yet heartwarming tale about two completely opposite people coming together for a kid.  The song itself is amazing.  It's simple yet profound in it's content.  About appreciating what you have, and learning to 'just breathe.' 

I'm not doing either band or song justice today.  So check them out for yourselves.  You will not be disappointed!

-Jesse

21 - It's So Hot Inside My Soul

A different flavor today.  I don't remember where I first heard this song.  I just know it felt like it was a blade right through my heart.

It still feels that way.

It's a small simple song, but has deep currents and emotions.

Song 21/Day 21
        "Hold Me Jesus" off of the album Songs by  Rich Mullins.

There is a large part of me that feels this could have come right from my own heart.  Not claiming that I'm as talented or gifted as the late Rich Mullins, but he doesn't over complicate the sentiment and intent of this song.

It ties me to Autumn for a few reasons.  The first being the line, "cause I'm shaking like a leaf."  There is a vulnerability in that line, and it echos the season.

I'm particularly fond of and struck by these words:

Surrender don't come natural to me I'd rather fight you for somethingI don't really wantThan to take what you give that I need

The rest is just the music itself.  It just has this sound that brings me to a large opening under huge tress in a wood.  The sky is fading to twilight, and there is a strong chill in the air.  I want to fall on me knees in the middle of this clearing, under the boughs above.  To just slough off all the wrongs and guilt.  To let it just melt away, and feel the arms of Jesus wrap around me in the embrace of creation.

That's what this song does for me.

Hold Me Jesus from Rich Mullins on the album, Songs.

Enjoy!

-Jesse

Out of Steam?

Sometimes is feels like we get all excited about something for a short period of time and then fizzle out.  Like this whole revolution thing.  Let me assure you, that as far as I am concerned this is just getting started.  I know there are many of you out there who share this idea.

Where are you?

Let us hear from you.  This is not about me.  This is not the Bear Show.  I'm blogging and writing because I have the time and this comes relatively easy to me.  Your story should be heard as well.  Tell us what you are doing.  Not as bragging, but a way to share what God is doing in you.  How he is transforming your life, and how that could be effecting others.

The Church is a community.  A body of believers.  Let's build that body up any way we can.  Some of you may be in other parts of Pennsylvania, or the other side of the country.  Some may even be on the other side of an ocean or two.  We can have community through the web.

Let us encourage one another!

For me today, I will say this.  Temptations.  They jump out at me all the time.  Some are new.  Some are old.  Habits, addictions, attitudes.  Things I thought I had walked away from.  I'd be lying if I said it was getting easier to turn them away.  To not give into them.  And they come everyday.  To buy more stuff that I don't really need.  To go to that website.  To get angry and lash out, or say hurtful things.

It's not easy to refuse them.  But the more I get to know Jesus.  The more time I spend learning the Father's voice.  The easier it is to run to him.  To cling to his words, the Word, and in doing so not give in to the temptations.  It is him who protects.  He is the Shield of Faith that puts out the fiery arrows of the enemy!

Please hear what I'm saying there.  It's not about me.  This is about God's work.  What he does in us when we draw closer to him.  And I for one have a very long way to go.  But his promises are true.  He is good.  He did give us the Comforter to help us and guide us.

When we run out of steam, it's because we're trying to fight sin with our own strength.  And that is like trying to out run a speeding train.  It's impossible.  But with God, all things are possible.  He is our strength.  Our deliverer.  Philippians 4 (12-14)

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

It doesn't matter if we have everything we need in life, or nothing.  Jesus is who we need more than anything.  And a supportive body of believers doesn't hurt either.  Paul says he knows how to survive, to carry on, but he encourages the Philippians for helping in his difficulty.

So, today, if God is doing something in/through you.  Share it.  With a humble heart to encourage us.  If you are struggling, or going through a difficulty, Share it.  At the very least (which isn't the least at all) we can pray for each other.

Have a day, be a blessing to those around you.

grace, peace + hope
-Bear

My Thanks

There are so many things to be thankful for.  Trees.  Laughter.  Stories.  Family.  Friends.  And so many other things that could fill books upon books.

So today I'll lean on the words of someone else to say what is in my heart.  A last born son who tended sheep and later became a king.  (Emphasis mine.)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.  He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

 Psalm 23

So continuing a thought from the last few days, revolution.  I'm thankful that with this in mind that David's ancient words, "I will fear no evil," bring great comfort.  To know that despite the presence of evil, or enemies, God will be with me.

For that I am thankful. 

It doesn't seem to be a big enough word.  But it's all I have today.

Thank you.

grace, peace & hope
-Bear

Nostalgic Momentum

It's the far side of Summer and my favorite season is merely a few days away.  The weather has been quite cool for the better part of the last week, and it's just the kind of atmosphere to send one strolling down memory lane.

That and the past four months seem to be beating me over the existential head with that concept of nostalgia.

It all started just before the move back to PA.  I had purchased the album Build a Rocket Boys by one of my favorite bands, Elbow.  It was a bit tougher to get into this album than the bands previous work.  But there was something in it that tugged at me.  It's mellow tunes seemed to rewind time and take me back to days gone by.

As I kept listening to the album after the move, it started to sink in that this album was a nostalgic look back on life.  Times of childhood adventures and the rosy colored memories of the "good-ol-days."  It also made me miss my new family in Illinois (yes Deeter's this means you) and all the people I love there.  If you're thinking, "Does he mean me?"  If you knew me while I lived in the Plainfield area, yeah, I mean you.

But my journey doesn't end there.  The mere concept of moving back to my home town was like diving into a gargantuan pool of yesterday.  Despite things being so different, so much is the same.  I'm sure I drove some friends crazy with my, "That's different," or "What happened to the...?" and "That used to be a...," comments.  Driving through old neighborhoods, visiting once familiar places was great and plumbed the depths of my memories.

Then you factor in some of the movies this summer.  Many were based in the past, or had throw-back scenes.  Captain America, X-Men: First Class, Transformers, and Super 8.  Granted I didn't live in any of the time periods of these movies, but the "remember when" feel they had got to me.

It was Super 8 that really struck a chord in me.  The events of the movie taking place roughly a month before I was born made me remember photos of my brothers and sister from that time.  And there were a lot of things in it that I would remember growing up.  Star Wars (and the world at large) had yet to be subjected to the word "prequel."  The TMI incident, Rubik's Cube (which I've learned was an anachronism in the movie,) and just the over all feel of the setting reminded me of my childhood.


Just this past weekend (Sept 16-18) brought two huge pieces of childhood and youth back into the forefront.  Star Wars was released on Blu-ray chock-full of bits and bobs from a long time ago.  That and The Lion King was just re-released in theaters.  (Yes, I'm 32 years old and not ashamed to say I saw The Lion King with my mom.)  Ok so that wasn't really "childhood," but it came from a great summer that I spent with my brother in Florida.  Still nostalgic.

A few other things:

I made a trip to New York City (for less than 24 hours) but it had been over 20 years since I was last there.  It took me back to walking the bustling streets with my dad and brother.  Remembering that I had actually gone up in the Twin Towers.

Reconnecting with childhood friends back in this area has been a real trip down memory lane as well.  Especially hanging out with my good friend Shawn (check his blog out at OctoberSon over in the links to the right!)

It's been twenty years since this zarking good friend gave me a firm introduction to the art and stories of comic books.  And here I am again 20 years later, hanging out with this same friend, geeking out over movies, getting comic books, eating pizza, and laughing like mad men as we bounce creative ideas off each other like a proverbial beach ball.

I've realized though, that I'm not just reliving the past.  Cause that wouldn't be a good thing.  All this stuff coming back, or taking me back, or however you want to say it...is actually moving me forward.  Unlike the Metallica song, the memory does more than remain.  It's propelling me forward.  It's reminding me who I am, what I love, what moves me.

I've been asked a few times why I chose to move back home.  To some it just seems backwards.   Why go back?  Why give up a good thing I had in Illinois for uncertainty?  Why back to a place I had been instead of a new place?

Well, this is why.  The nostalgic momentum.  I didn't know that would be the result of the past four months.  I didn't know what was going to happen when I loaded up that truck and drove out of Joliet.  I had plans and dreams and schemes...some are still in place, others have been passed by.

The biggest prompting, however, was God.  There was no writing on the wall, no burning bush, no vivid dream and interpretation.  I just knew it was time to go.  The direction wasn't clear, but the prompting to pack up and go was clear.

When I think back to those years in the early 80's especially, I may have been a naive child, but there is something to be said about that kind of innocence and acceptance.  It was a time before the divorce, before my family moved to every corner of the country.  The internet was still a decade off, and there was still a mystery to the world on a vast global scale.  Cellphones didn't fit in your pocket, if you could even afford one.  Optimus Prime and Snake Eyes didn't have lips, and Anakin was an old guy who looked like your grandpa.  

So, here I am, the far side of summer.  The music of Elbow, Giacchino, and Williams twisting out of my speakers like auditory pavement under the rubber bike tires of my memory.  They carry me back across the season, the miles, and the decades.

I'm a 32 year old boy in mismatched clothing, socks half-way up to my knees and big dreams in my heart.

Grace, Peace, & Hope
-Jersey

"It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind..."

Ambivalent.

It's the only word I can really use right now to describe how I feel.

I'm back where I grew up.  A goal that has been set since the beginning of the year.  I'm happy to be here, but sad to be gone from Joliet.

I'm full of hope for the future, still have no idea what any of that will look like, but I have hope from God in it.  I'm happy to be near my parents.  Happy to be near old friends.  Everything is so familiar yet strange.  Like I'm looking at things I only dreamed of and didn't see clearly, or things I saw through a dirty window that is now clean.

I keep thinking of John Cusack's character in Grosse Pointe Blank, Martin Blank.  He returns home 10 years after disappearing from his senior prom.  He goes to where his childhood house was and finds a convenience store complete with disinterested clerk.  "What are you doing here?" he asks the confused teen.  Then after a pointless string of questions he mutters in utter frustration, "Who - I used to - Where - W-what are you doing here?"

He then calls his therapist and ends his call with, "You can never go home again...but I guess you can shop there."


Granted my situation isn't even remotely similar.  But there's a feeling in his frustration that I am experiencing.  I don't quite know how to describe it except as the aforementioned ambivalence.


My heart longs for what will be, but yearns for what was.


There is this awesome sadness that keeps trying to cling to me.  I've kept it at bay most of this week by keeping busy.  But tonight it's sinking it's teeth in.  This isn't the verge of depression or some plea for support or anything.  Sadness is not in itself a bad thing.  I need to endure this and I'm finally letting it happen.  I know I'm not alone.  I know Jesus is here with me.  Also that the love and prayers of friends here in PA and those in IL, MO, and elsewhere are with me.


I'm really missing my Joliet family tonight.  The Deeter's, the Bin Youth, the Jahnke's, everyone at SWCC and many others.


I haven't had a good and proper laugh since last Sunday.  For those who know what I'm talking about...well, you know what I'm talking about.


To all of you in Joliet, you will never know how much you have impacted and shaped my life.  I'm forever changed because of all of you.  Individually and as a whole.  I can't thank you enough.


I'm sad to have left.  But I'm excited about what is yet to come.


Which brings me to the title of this post.  From a fantastic show that became a movie.  Firefly to Serenity.  Some of the best written characters ever created, and with far too short a life span.  Like a leaf on the wind, I'm flying, but there is no way to predict where I'm going.  One thing you can do though, is tell what type of tree I grew from.


From my parents, brothers and sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, mentors, pastors, school friends, college friends, co-workers, students, youth leaders, business owners, and so on, you have all contributed to who I am.  Good, bad, and everything else.  I carry all of you with me.

All of you.


"It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind...watch how I soar."

Training Wheels and Skinned Knees

It was the summer of 1987.  I was eight years old.  The warm sun beat down on our necks in New Cumberland, PA.  "Our" being my brother Joe, myself, and a trio of siblings my brother was watching for the summer, 2 brothers and a sister.  We were riding our bikes all over the town.

I do have a point beyond going down memory lane...stick with me.

Dappled patches of golden sun and vibrant green filled our vision as we scrambled all over the place.  Starting out from our apartment on Third Street, up to the Turkey Hill on Bridge Street and back.  Past the Library, schools and quiet homes.  This will go down in my memory as one of the best summers of my life.  It was almost limitless freedom to my young mind.  No adult supervision (my brother is only about 9 years older than me, so he would have been almost 17.)  Thinking back it almost feels like an 80's movie come to life.

We were our own Goonies.  Having adventures real and imagined.  Playing with Transformers, riding bikes, climbing the house, running through the streets bare foot or in home made costumes, we were unstoppable.

The only thing that ever slowed us down were injuries, or the occasional fight over who got to be who when going on imaginary adventures.  As for the injuries, well, I was the king of that contest.  Running barefoot, great fun till you sprint through broken glass (at that point Die Hard didn't mean anything to me besides a battery brand.)  I fell out of a tree and jacked my leg up pretty well too. 

Then there was day I started this off with.  We had been riding bikes all day.  We were a few blocks from home and all feeling pretty good about everything.  When I saw we were riding bikes, I mean everyone else.  I was on a scooter.  And remember this wasn't those "Razor" scooters or anything like that.  These were the ones that looked like a skate board with mini mountain bike tires on it.

Mine was electric green.

The reason I was on a scooter, is because I hadn't learned how to ride a bike.  But I took to the scooter like a fish to water.  Somehow though, I feel like I had to work harder to keep up with my little gang, but I did.  And there we were, cruising back to the apartment.  I'm sure thoughts of lemonade or iced tea were racing through our minds.  I look over and see my brother (my cool, older bro who I looked up to and admired so much, and still do.  Love you dude!)

He was riding with no hands.  In fact he let go of the bars and through his arms up in a victorious gesture, battle cry and all.  Wanting to be as cool as him, I did the same thing.  Letting go of handle bars on a scooter doesn't work the same as letting go of a bike.  As I realized my mistake and the world blurred into slow-motion, I saw the handle bars turn left,  slip to my out of reach, and start to tip the scooter.  I was thrown off, head first down the pavement of the street like a dry slip-n-slide...with rocks.

My legs, knees, arms, elbows were shredded like a block of cheese for tacos.  Fortunately my face was saved by my Philadelphia Eagles (back when they were still green and grey) baseball cap.  The bill of said hat now looking like the jeans of many rock stars.

I don't remember how I got home, but I remember bandages, stinging, and lovely scabs later on.  But you know what, I got back on that scooter the next day.  I never let go of the handle bars again, but I didn't stop riding.

A few years later I would learn how to ride a bike.  It was a 10-Speed, with training wheels.  Once I had it down I thought I was the coolest kid in the neighborhood.  That neighborhood being Cedar Run Apartments where my dad lived.  I would bike up to the playground and do laps thinking I was the stuff.  Until kids started to laugh at me.  Why were they laughing?  I was 10 years old, and riding with training wheels.  I was too afraid to take them off.  They kept me in balance.  They kept me from tipping over.  Kept me from falling and getting hurt. 

The thing about training wheels, they make a bicycle a four wheeler.

With training wheels on a bike, it is no longer what it was meant to be.  Bi meaning two.  Yeah the bike was still there, but it wasn't functioning the way it was meant.  Something was added to it.  Something that helped, but also hindered.  It kept the bike from it's true form.  Kept it from being what it truly was.  Eventually I worked up the nerve and had the wheels removed.

The bike was now what it was supposed to be.  I felt more confident.  I had more fun because I wasn't relying on the added on devices that kept me up.  I learned how to balance and move with the bike.  I still fell, and had spills, but I learned with each one.  I never became a cyclist, but I would ride a bike regularly for the next 7 years (until I learned how to drive.)  Even now I still have a bike, and I haven't forgotten how to ride.

So where am I going with all this?

We need to take the training wheels off of "the church."

I'm not going to dive into research and study that isn't mine and I haven't earned.  I'll talk individually with people if they want, but this isn't the forum for that.  At least not yet.

All I'm suggesting is that we step back from curriculums, models, workbooks, and formulas and dive into the Word.  It's ok to question and ponder why we do the things we do.  Some things are straight out of scripture.  Many are not.  It doesn't make them bad.  Training wheels will help you learn to ride a bike, but if you never take them off and always depend on them, you'll never become a real bike rider.  Just like with faith in Jesus.  If we always rely on others to support us, we'll never be able to do it on our own.

Dive into the Word.  Read the New Testament.  Matthew through Revelation.  Not necessarily in that order though.

Take the wheels off.  Don't be afraid of skinning your knee.  It will happen. And you'll learn from it.

Leaders, let the kids go.  Like a parent teaching a kid to rid a bike.  Eventually you have to let go of the seat and let them go on alone.  But we are never alone.  The Spirit is there to teach, train, lead and guide us.  And comfort us when we fall and get scratched up.

Look at what Jesus taught.  The words and imagery he used to convey the idea of the Kingdom.  Look at Paul and the other apostles lives.  Read their teachings to the early churches.  Take the training wheels off and let the Holy Spirit guide each believer.

The same Spirit that was with Jesus is in us.  So we should be able to agree on the simple things.  Everything else is just training wheels.  Yank those puppies off and start pedaling.  Each member striving after Jesus individually and together.  Everyone has a part to play.

The church isn't meant to be a mass of spectators watching a few trained professionals compete.  The church is every believer, not bricks and stone.

If you're worried you can't study the Word the right way...stop worrying.  God is with us.  He wants us to know him.  To love him, follow him, and love others.  He wouldn't have asked us to do something we were incapable of doing.

Each and every believer can read the Word and learn from God.

You can do it, you are not alone.  Keep reading, keep seeking God.  Let him teach you.

A shepherd doesn't lead his flock to pasture, bend down, cut grass, place that grass in the sheep's mouth, and make them chew and swallow and digest.

So why do we expect our "shepherds" to do that for us?

Take the training wheels off doesn't mean we all go it alone.  We live as body.  Together helping with daily life and spiritual life.  But it is the Spirit of God who causes us to grow.  I'm not suggesting you question your faith, or Jesus, or God.  All I'm asking is to look at how we express that faith, and hold it in comparison to what the Scriptures, and God actually tell us to do.

Hopefully, I'll see you in the doctors office with me getting bandaged up from time to time.

Mountains and Madness

I just finished reading "Into Thin Air," earlier this week.  That is an intense story.  It's a first person perspective (of author Jon Krakauer) of the ascent and descent of Mt. Everest in the Spring of 1996, when one of the worst "disasters," ever happened to a team.

I believe it takes a certain type of person to want to climb mountains.  To know that one wrong hand hold, one wrong placement of your foot could lead to your imminent demise...that takes incredible bravery, ludicrous stupidity, or some form of mental deformity.  But that's just my opinion.  And yet those who want to climb Everest? 

Completely bonkers.

Now before you go off thinking I'm ridiculing people who do this I'm really not.  I'm not of the mindset, "Well, you wouldn't have died if you didn't climb that mountain," or "You'd still have your hands and feet..."  No.  I admire the people who can do it.  Do I think it's necessary, absolutely not.  Neither are movies, TV shows, or books.  But I love them.

Reading the pages of that book, I felt like I was there on the mountain with them.  The panic, the confusion, the dizzying sense of lack of oxygen and how it slows down your brain.  So much that the author confused one of the people he was closest to on the climb with someone else.  Which may have resulted in the others death.  Which the author (at least at the time of the writing of the book) seems to be plagued with "survivors guilt," over.

It was a traumatizing and life altering experience for all who started up the slopes.

This climbing of mountains reminds me of living a life following Christ.  Sometimes we encounter mountains on that journey.  Things such as debt, temptation, pride, death in a family etc.  Those are mountains that we have to overcome.  That we have to climb.  We don't need to be trained.  We don't need expensive gear and permits.  (It costs up to $25,000 to get a permit just to climb Everest, forget about flights, gear etc...)  We don't need supplemental oxygen because out bodies can't function at those altitudes.  All we need to climb those mountains in life, is Jesus.

In John 14 he says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled."  He had just told the disciples that he was going away.  But that they didn't need to be worried because he would be back.  He says it again later, "Do not let your hearts be troubled or be afraid."  Why?  Because he was sending "the Spirit of truth," to be with them.

He calls it the Spirit of truth, right after he tells them "I am the way, the truth, and the life..."  Jesus is the truth, so the Spirit of truth is the Spirit of Jesus.  The Holy Spirit of God.  He is with us.  That is all we need.  For climbing over or moving the mountains before us.  Jesus is all we need.

Sure that is easy to say.  But it's like any relationship with a "real" human being on this earth.  You get to know them by spending time together, talking, and most of us like getting to know other people one on one.  Group settings are great, but to get to the heart of someone, it's intimate and close. 

It works the same with Jesus.  I don't think he's the center of attention type of guy.  I mean think about that.  He always like to go off alone, or just be with the disciples, or even among them was closest with Peter, James and John.  If you were at a party with Jesus, you probably would know he was there.

So, if you're at a party or out with a bunch of friends or just distracted by life, Jesus is there, wanting you to spend time with him, but that's up to us.  We need to put down the iPad, step away from the XBox, let the kids do their thing, and spend time with him.  Alone, in quite away from the chaos that seems to be life.

Movies and TV can wait, the Game...can be recorded, that new whatever...can be put off one more hour.  You get to know Jesus by spending time with him.  Real quality time.

So, he tells us not to be troubled...I'm leaving you my Spirit.  We need to get to the place where we say, "Thanks, that is all I need."  And we can climb that mountain, because Jesus is there with us.  We don't need our friends and family (although they are great to have) but Jesus needs to be ENOUGH.  All we need.

Because when Jesus is that for us, he can use us to help others.   When we aren't relying on the strength of those around us, but solely on Jesus, his strength supersedes our ability and transforms others.

Another thing about climbing mountains.  Don't go out of your way to climb a mountain that isn't necessary.  Jesus said this (Matt 6:34) "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Don't climb the mountains that aren't yours to climb.  It's so easy when we try to serve others to take their burdens upon ourselves.  But that isn't our job.

Yes, we are to love our neighbors, and help them.  But their spiritual burdens are for them to bear, or drop at Jesus feet.  We can share life, encourage and pray for them, but we can not forgive sin and wipe them clean.  That is God's right, and his alone.  Galatians 6:2 tells us to "bear one another's burdens," and I believe in context with that passage it is saying exactly this.  To share in experience, prayer, support and understanding.  But do not take up their sin as your own.

If you are ministering to someone who is addicted to say gambling, you don't in turn start to gamble to understand them.  You don't take their debt onto yourself.  You help them along, keep them accountable, and as Jesus said, "love your neighbor as yourself."

Sometimes we struggle and suffer similar things with people at the same time.  We can encourage one another, smile, and help each other along, but we have to remember that it's God, not us or our friend that is going to get us to the top of that mountain, and down the other side.

God, Jesus, the Spirit as one are the author and finisher of our faith.  The beginning and the end.  Jesus took on the sin and suffering of the world, he knows exactly what you are going through.  He already carried you through it.  Rely on him.

Don't lean on your own strength, your own determination.  Trust in Jesus to be there with you every step of the way.  He can't be burdened with sin, just like he wouldn't be limited by oxygen if he were to climb Everest.  He is strong when we are weak, and we will be strengthened in our weakness by him.

So seek courage and strength from God when you have to climb to the bewildering peaks of whatever obstacle you face, he will see you back down safely, and make you stronger than you were before by replacing your reliance on yourself, into trust in him.  So when you are back in the valley, you will have had a life altering experience with a positive outcome.

The only casualties will be the sin, fear, and regret you leave behind.

Broken Little Things

She reached up with her perfect arm, feeling her slender fingers wrap around the ripe fruit. It was cool and felt like it belonged in her hand. The wind blew gently through the trees, the smell of lilac and honeysuckle filled the evening air. She lifted the fruit to her mouth, her lips tingled as they touched it's skin. She took a bite, juice ran over her chin...and something inside of her, broke.

It broke inside of her. Then it broke inside of her husband. And their children, all the way down the lines of history to you and me. We are all broken. In more ways than one. Some of us more than others. No matter how we try to dress it up, conceal it, ignore it, deny it...it's there in all of us.

We as humans, were not meant to live as we now do.

This past weekend I went to the St. Louis Zoo. For those of you who don't know me well, or thought you did...I love animals. Animals have been something I've always been fascinated with since I was a kid. So I was looking forward to going to the zoo. It was a very nice zoo, with lots of animals. I was thoroughly impressed with all the animals and ability to clearly see them and appreciate their beauty.

Something happened though when I was looking at the great apes. Now, I'm not going to sit here and talk like I'm some sort of expert or that I've studied these animals for years or anything. I've read some books here and there and may know a few things, but I'm not well versed in all things ape.

The first apes I saw were the chimps. I could see one off a way in the "trees." Then I moved to the next window around the corner, and there was an older chimp sitting in the corner by the glass. There were lots of kids ignoring the "don't knock on the glass" sign. The parents weren't doing too good a job either.

I watched the chimp sitting in the corner, uninterested in anything. It's lip and jaw were slack and just hanging open. It just sat there, or slumped rather, leaning into the corner seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Staring at nothing.

It looked broken.

Like an old man in a nursing home who doesn't know who, or where he is. The lights were on, but nobody was home. This was not the life this chimp was meant to life. Granted it may have a great habitat, proper food and care...but is that the life it was born for?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not berating zoos or parks like this, I think they are great and fascinating. But I think that there's been enough studies and research done to show that animals in captivity are not the "same" as those in the wild.

As I walked around the zoo I started to see all the other animals in this light. Especially the bears (my personal favorite.) One of the grizzlies and one of the Malayan Sun bears just paced most of the time. Back and forth on the edge of their concrete enclosures. Like some mindless ritual or routine. The Amur Tigers, three of them, prowling about in an area greatly reduced from what their natural territory must be.

They were all broken.

Just like us.

We are broken by sin. When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit they changed forever, they changed us forever.

A few of the things that broke were our relationship with God, our relationship to Creation, and our relationship with each other.

God created us to be with Him.
(The Whole Bible)

This idea is the basis for all the books of the Bible. God created us. He would walk in the garden with Adam and Eve, until they hid from Him. They were banished from the Garden, but God still spoke to them. To Noah. To Abram. And He is still talking to this day.

Look what he says in Ezekiel:

"My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people."
-Ezekiel 37:27

Throughout history God is showing us ways to draw closer to Him. Ultimately it is Jesus' life, death, and resurrection that makes that possible. God's son did that for us. I think it's evident that He wants to be with us.


God created man to cultivate the ground, and rule over the animals.
(Genesis 1:26-29)

"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'"
-Genesis 1:26

Adam was placed in the garden to work it and take care of it, Genesis 2:15. Then the animals were brought to him and he named them. Genesis 2:19-20.

God created Eve to be with Adam.
(Genesis 2:21-25)

"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
-Genesis 2:20-22

Eve was created from Adam, for Adam. They were made to be together. To help each other and keep each other company. I can't think of a greater human example of brokenness than that of the relationship between men and women.

Then, the serpent came.

They ate the fruit.

Everything changed.

We were broken.


Broken from God

The immediate response to sin was for Adam and Eve to hide. We don't want God to see us for what we really are. There are many ways people deal with this. Some will seek an easier answer to God, easier than faith. By doing works, things they can say, "Look what good things I did to earn my way here."

Others will deny God's existence. We can't admit to feeling separated from God if we don't think He exists. Yet others try to scientifically prove He is real. Or that we are all gods and shouldn't feel bad about anything if it comes from inside us. This list could go on and on with the things we do to fill that gap, that breach in our soul that is missing God.


Broken from Others

War. Hate. Violence.

Those things pretty much sum up this point. This one is violently demonstrated when Cain kills Able because Able obeyed God. It's no wonder that being broken from God, the one who created us, would cause us to be broken from each other. Adam blamed Eve when God found them after they ate of the tree.

Somehow we have it in our head that by disassociating with people we think are "less" than us, it makes us better. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Jesus told the disciples to be in the world not of it. He also said that he came to heal the sick, for the healthy do not need a doctor.

So, especially in Christian circles, we've got a mind set that we need to distance ourselves from sinners, the lost.

And we quickly forget that we are just as guilty. We think we're better, and we act it out.

We have issues with friends, children, parents, spouses, co-workers and on and on. No relationship we could ever have is the way it is supposed to be. We can work at them every day, but we are broken from each other.

Broken from each other because we are broken from God.


Broken from Creation

We are no longer in dominion of creation. And as much as I love nature, we were never in "harmony" with it. Read the Creation story again. God put Adam in charge of the animals and plants. But because of Sin, we are subject to them. We don't live in nature and creation as God intended.

We destroy nature to live. We consume everything. There is little awe and respect for what God made.

The work God made us to do, most people don't do, and wouldn't know how to do. Our bodies were not made to sit in plush office chairs 6 days a week. We were not made to spend our lives watching TV.

So what do we see? Obesity and other eating disorders. Health problems from working too much. Ergonomic cushions to prevent carpel tunnel. ADHD, depression, social anxiety. Addictions to fantasies that are not, and can never be real.

I honestly believe that these are things we have brought on ourselves with the way we live.

I'm not saying we all need to torch our houses, quit our jobs and go live in the woods. But we need to be aware that this isn't what we were made for.


The Fix

There is a solution to this. A cast to heal the break if you will. And that is Jesus. He came and gave us an opportunity to reconnect with God the Father. We can restore that relationship with Him. Through Jesus.

In restoring our relationship with God, we can allow Him to fix our relationship with others. Our relationship with His creation.

But like all breaks and wounds, healing takes time. You can set an arm after it is broken, but it takes time for the bone to heal. God fixes us, and He will work on us the rest of our life if we let Him.

We can't think that simply saying a prayer and returning to the life we know will do anything.

God changes us, makes us a new creation. We choose to reach up and pluck that fruit from the tree again. And God will correct us if we let Him. Or we can choose to ignore Him. Again.

Like with the broken bone, the doctor will tell you how to take care of it, to allow the best healing. God has provided all the instructions we need in the Word. Through the Word. It is there that we find the healing, the restoration we seek. It's in the Word, the living and active Word of God that we are mended.

Like that chimp I saw at the zoo. It was technically a chimp, but it wasn't living the life it was born to live. Perhaps as it sat there, slack jawed and staring it was dreaming. Of what life would be like to be free. Free of the broken life it was living.

Climbing trees living in it's natural environment. Playing, fighting, and defending. Seeking food when it was hungry, and unafraid to reach out for that next branch.


The Fear

There is a fear that comes from a break. A fear of it happening again. I know when I broke my collar bone in a car accident, I was overly cautious in making left hand turns for years after the accident.

Fear will cripple us. Prevent us from living.

A study published in 2008 suggested that 1 in 3 animals raised in captivity will survive upon release into the wild. They lack the survival skills needed to hunt, evade, and fight. It is much the same with us. We are living a life we weren't meant to live. Apart from God, apart from each other, apart from creation.

But if we trust in God, and seek Jesus, we can live a life that is so much more full than the life we live crippled by sin. We can enjoy a life of wisdom and instruction from God instead of floundering in the dark. We can live together and appreciate each other more instead of arguing and hating. We can walk outside and see the beauty of creation instead of the glow of a monitor.

Reach out to God.

Extend your broken soul to Him and he will heal you. We are all broken little things, but God is bigger and more powerfull than anything. He, and he alone can fix us, make us whole, unbroken.

"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8