Nostalgic Momentum

It's the far side of Summer and my favorite season is merely a few days away.  The weather has been quite cool for the better part of the last week, and it's just the kind of atmosphere to send one strolling down memory lane.

That and the past four months seem to be beating me over the existential head with that concept of nostalgia.

It all started just before the move back to PA.  I had purchased the album Build a Rocket Boys by one of my favorite bands, Elbow.  It was a bit tougher to get into this album than the bands previous work.  But there was something in it that tugged at me.  It's mellow tunes seemed to rewind time and take me back to days gone by.

As I kept listening to the album after the move, it started to sink in that this album was a nostalgic look back on life.  Times of childhood adventures and the rosy colored memories of the "good-ol-days."  It also made me miss my new family in Illinois (yes Deeter's this means you) and all the people I love there.  If you're thinking, "Does he mean me?"  If you knew me while I lived in the Plainfield area, yeah, I mean you.

But my journey doesn't end there.  The mere concept of moving back to my home town was like diving into a gargantuan pool of yesterday.  Despite things being so different, so much is the same.  I'm sure I drove some friends crazy with my, "That's different," or "What happened to the...?" and "That used to be a...," comments.  Driving through old neighborhoods, visiting once familiar places was great and plumbed the depths of my memories.

Then you factor in some of the movies this summer.  Many were based in the past, or had throw-back scenes.  Captain America, X-Men: First Class, Transformers, and Super 8.  Granted I didn't live in any of the time periods of these movies, but the "remember when" feel they had got to me.

It was Super 8 that really struck a chord in me.  The events of the movie taking place roughly a month before I was born made me remember photos of my brothers and sister from that time.  And there were a lot of things in it that I would remember growing up.  Star Wars (and the world at large) had yet to be subjected to the word "prequel."  The TMI incident, Rubik's Cube (which I've learned was an anachronism in the movie,) and just the over all feel of the setting reminded me of my childhood.


Just this past weekend (Sept 16-18) brought two huge pieces of childhood and youth back into the forefront.  Star Wars was released on Blu-ray chock-full of bits and bobs from a long time ago.  That and The Lion King was just re-released in theaters.  (Yes, I'm 32 years old and not ashamed to say I saw The Lion King with my mom.)  Ok so that wasn't really "childhood," but it came from a great summer that I spent with my brother in Florida.  Still nostalgic.

A few other things:

I made a trip to New York City (for less than 24 hours) but it had been over 20 years since I was last there.  It took me back to walking the bustling streets with my dad and brother.  Remembering that I had actually gone up in the Twin Towers.

Reconnecting with childhood friends back in this area has been a real trip down memory lane as well.  Especially hanging out with my good friend Shawn (check his blog out at OctoberSon over in the links to the right!)

It's been twenty years since this zarking good friend gave me a firm introduction to the art and stories of comic books.  And here I am again 20 years later, hanging out with this same friend, geeking out over movies, getting comic books, eating pizza, and laughing like mad men as we bounce creative ideas off each other like a proverbial beach ball.

I've realized though, that I'm not just reliving the past.  Cause that wouldn't be a good thing.  All this stuff coming back, or taking me back, or however you want to say it...is actually moving me forward.  Unlike the Metallica song, the memory does more than remain.  It's propelling me forward.  It's reminding me who I am, what I love, what moves me.

I've been asked a few times why I chose to move back home.  To some it just seems backwards.   Why go back?  Why give up a good thing I had in Illinois for uncertainty?  Why back to a place I had been instead of a new place?

Well, this is why.  The nostalgic momentum.  I didn't know that would be the result of the past four months.  I didn't know what was going to happen when I loaded up that truck and drove out of Joliet.  I had plans and dreams and schemes...some are still in place, others have been passed by.

The biggest prompting, however, was God.  There was no writing on the wall, no burning bush, no vivid dream and interpretation.  I just knew it was time to go.  The direction wasn't clear, but the prompting to pack up and go was clear.

When I think back to those years in the early 80's especially, I may have been a naive child, but there is something to be said about that kind of innocence and acceptance.  It was a time before the divorce, before my family moved to every corner of the country.  The internet was still a decade off, and there was still a mystery to the world on a vast global scale.  Cellphones didn't fit in your pocket, if you could even afford one.  Optimus Prime and Snake Eyes didn't have lips, and Anakin was an old guy who looked like your grandpa.  

So, here I am, the far side of summer.  The music of Elbow, Giacchino, and Williams twisting out of my speakers like auditory pavement under the rubber bike tires of my memory.  They carry me back across the season, the miles, and the decades.

I'm a 32 year old boy in mismatched clothing, socks half-way up to my knees and big dreams in my heart.

Grace, Peace, & Hope
-Jersey