Old Threads

    “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back?”  -Frodo The Return of the King

This is Frodo’s narration as the final scenes of The Return of the King, and the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy play out.  He’s returned to his cozy hobbit hole at Bag End after his incredible year long journey from Hobbiton to Rivendell to Mordor and back.  He and his fellow hobbit companions are changed people.  They aren’t the simple fun loving, song singing, drink sharing folk they were the year before.

Sure some of those elements are still there.  But there are things that will never be the same.  How do you compare the height of the White City of Minas Tirith to the earthy colored walls of a hobbit hole?  The places they have been may have only strengthened their love of all things hobbitish, but they cannot un-see the places they have gone.

No more than they can un-experience the battles they have fought, the brutality of war and destruction that it brings.  They cannot un-shed the blood they themselves have shed, be it their own or their enemies.

Nor can they un-meet their other companions, or other characters they met along the way.  They can’t un-speak the conversations about life and death and all the rest. 

Forever. 

Those places, experiences and people have altered their lives for all time.  Just like the places, experiences and people that have come into my life have altered me forever.

For ever.

After nearly 14 years I have returned to my hometown.

Funny how the ending of one chapter can sometimes take you back to a place where a previous chapter started.  It’s the same place, but the environment may or may not have changed slightly.  Usually the characters have changed or seen things that would alter their perception of this familiar setting.

And that’s where I am.  New chapter.  Same story.  Previous setting, different perceptions.  New familiarity.

You see, you cannot pick up the pieces of an old life.

Not possible.

Because whether we like it or not, things change.  Maybe it’s us that changes, maybe it’s our surroundings, but something is always changing.

You can’t pick up an old life because that old life is affected by what has led to the new or different life.

The new life that is, exists because of the life that was.  It may be minor changes, but they are there.  The way we look at a sunset because of that one we saw in that one place.  Or the way we think about a book or movie because of that conversation with what’s their face.  It’s different.

Hopefully it’s better.

I know for myself it is better.  I’ve come back a different person.  For me many things are similar, but every thing is better.  (Except the stink bugs, seriously.  Thanks China!)  My relationships with my parents are better.  My walk with God is better (but there is always room for improvement there!)

The threads of my old life can’t be picked up.  Nobody’s can.  Because they are part of the tapestry that is their entire life.  You can trace those threads back to where you ‘left’ them, but they are woven into who you are now.

Just because you can’t “go back,” doesn’t mean that sadness and despair are the result.  There is a sadness to Frodo’s words.  But that sadness doesn’t touch Sam.  Sam does have a sadness in part, but for him, life is better on returning home.  He has courage, strength, he gets married, has a family and lives a long and happy life.  He does back to his same house, doing what he used to do, but he is changed.

A good friend shared the song “For Good” from Wicked on my facebook page after I moved from Illinois to PA.  I’ve not seen the play but I get the concept of what it’s about.  And these words go hand in hand with this post.

“Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better…

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...”

Old threads can’t be picked up.  They can only continue on.  Because our old lives make us who we are today.  The old becomes the new.  We move on.  We grow.  Every day, every life, every moment contributing to the next.

Grace, Peace and Love
 -jesse