Another show that I've enjoyed the occasional song from is House, M.D. I really liked this show up to the final season, which had it's moments...and ended the series well, but the season itself wasn't up to par in my opinion. One of the best things to come out of this season was the final song played over the final scene of the final episode.
I won't spoil the ending if you have any desire to watch the show, but the song is surprisingly fitting lyrically and emotionally for this finale.
Song 52
"Euphoria" from the self-titled album from band, Motopony
What I really like about this song is it's almost monotone persistence. It just keeps moving. Not a lot of ups and downs. Just moving forward.
This is a great song for a day like we had yesterday here in Central, PA. It was sunny, in the low 60's and all round gorgeous. Drop the windows down, drive out through the hills and creeks and go for a hike. Which is what a friend and I did. It was a great hike at Boyd Big Tree.
I can see in my mind this song being played as a family leaves a home with some mild sadness and drives across country. Trees flashing by the window as a child or two looks out. But there is a comfort in the drive, that something better is waiting at the other end of the journey.
That's my two bits.
Enjoy!
grace, peace + hope
-Jesse
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Hindsight Is 20/11
This has been an incredible year. Full of hope, promise and change. (No political references intended.) I think back to where I was a year ago, and where I am now...or about to be, and I see God's hand all over it. Usually I don't see that until I look back, but this time I was blessed to see it the whole time. Maybe not in every detail, but I knew it was Him who was moving me.
It was today, a year ago, that I began the preparations to move from Joliet, IL back to the area of my childhood/youth in Central PA. It was an easy choice, but it was difficult on certain levels to execute. I had to leave behind a wonderful family of friends. You know who you are. Yes, you. I'm not a fan of listing out names and stuff. There is a deep bond with the different people I called house-mates, the students and leaders of the Bin, my employers, and of course the folks at Southwest.
I also left behind comfort and certainty.
I knew that every weekday I'd head to Plainfield for work. Wednesdays I would leave work and go straight to the barn for The Bin. Weekends were always up in the air, except for Sunday. I knew what I had to look forward to upon parking my car at home. I always felt welcome and safe. I knew God had worked in my life there, and that he would continue to work in others. But my time was up.
So, I planned. Saved. Sold. Packed. Moved.
I had nothing but support from everyone there in Illinois. It was hard to leave. I was blessed to have a great friend travel with me back to PA. That 13 hour drive would have been a lot harder and longer without her.
Then I was back.
In some ways everything was different. In others nothing had changed. There are positives and negatives to both aspects of that. Some of the fruits that were planted when I first returned are just now starting to grow. Others may take longer. But like I said, God's hand has been guiding me this whole time. Moving me toward the right people and opportunities.
I was blessed to go back to South Africa with BGC again this year. It was another incredible trip. Every second spent in Africa makes me love it all the more. All of the people there have made an indelible impression upon my life.
I got to team up with a fantastic ministry in M28. Their emphasis on discipleship has been encouraging and challenging. While it took a while, I've finally been connected with someone to walk along side of down that road to being a disciple.
Some other great things have been reconnecting with some old friends and allowing those friendships to become deeper than phone/email could allow. There is something about being in the same space as someone that just makes a huge difference. This has led to challenges and growth (and practically reviving) my art. Also a new found appreciation for eating better and trying new things.
Not only old friends, but I have found a fantastic group of new friends in my co-workers, as well as the incredible folks at the Pancake Mansion in Harrisburg! I have been blessed with such a variety of viewpoints and attitudes from these people. Looking forward to where these friendships go in the future.
So as I look to the future and the adventure that starts for me Monday...I can look back on 2011 and despite the difficulties and challenges (which I'm skipping over in this post) I know 2012 will be amazing, as long as I keep letting God lead and guide me. (That's not to say I haven't/won't make mistakes...not claiming to be perfect here!)
The adventure I speak of, is that I'm moving into a "Sober House" on Monday to be the House Manager. It's not a job. I'll be there in the house to be the ground wire. The resident assistant. A source of consistency and accountability for the guys who will be living there. The house is for men who were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. It's a step further from addiction than an half-way house. I'm excited about this and believe 100% that God has led me to it.
I'm also excited because I know I'm not in this alone. I know I'll be living there, but there is a fantastic team of people who are willing to give time and effort to these men. So if you're in the area and want to help, email me. If getting directly involved isn't your thing, then pray. Pray for the men to live there. Pray for their lives to be changed by Jesus. That they can overcome their addictions and move into a life that is free from those things. Pray for peace and community in the house. And for favor in the eyes of the neighborhood.
Thanks for reading! I'll be back in 2012!
Happy New Year
grace, peace + hope-Bear
It was today, a year ago, that I began the preparations to move from Joliet, IL back to the area of my childhood/youth in Central PA. It was an easy choice, but it was difficult on certain levels to execute. I had to leave behind a wonderful family of friends. You know who you are. Yes, you. I'm not a fan of listing out names and stuff. There is a deep bond with the different people I called house-mates, the students and leaders of the Bin, my employers, and of course the folks at Southwest.
I also left behind comfort and certainty.
I knew that every weekday I'd head to Plainfield for work. Wednesdays I would leave work and go straight to the barn for The Bin. Weekends were always up in the air, except for Sunday. I knew what I had to look forward to upon parking my car at home. I always felt welcome and safe. I knew God had worked in my life there, and that he would continue to work in others. But my time was up.
So, I planned. Saved. Sold. Packed. Moved.
I had nothing but support from everyone there in Illinois. It was hard to leave. I was blessed to have a great friend travel with me back to PA. That 13 hour drive would have been a lot harder and longer without her.
Then I was back.
In some ways everything was different. In others nothing had changed. There are positives and negatives to both aspects of that. Some of the fruits that were planted when I first returned are just now starting to grow. Others may take longer. But like I said, God's hand has been guiding me this whole time. Moving me toward the right people and opportunities.
I was blessed to go back to South Africa with BGC again this year. It was another incredible trip. Every second spent in Africa makes me love it all the more. All of the people there have made an indelible impression upon my life.
I got to team up with a fantastic ministry in M28. Their emphasis on discipleship has been encouraging and challenging. While it took a while, I've finally been connected with someone to walk along side of down that road to being a disciple.
Some other great things have been reconnecting with some old friends and allowing those friendships to become deeper than phone/email could allow. There is something about being in the same space as someone that just makes a huge difference. This has led to challenges and growth (and practically reviving) my art. Also a new found appreciation for eating better and trying new things.
Not only old friends, but I have found a fantastic group of new friends in my co-workers, as well as the incredible folks at the Pancake Mansion in Harrisburg! I have been blessed with such a variety of viewpoints and attitudes from these people. Looking forward to where these friendships go in the future.
So as I look to the future and the adventure that starts for me Monday...I can look back on 2011 and despite the difficulties and challenges (which I'm skipping over in this post) I know 2012 will be amazing, as long as I keep letting God lead and guide me. (That's not to say I haven't/won't make mistakes...not claiming to be perfect here!)
The adventure I speak of, is that I'm moving into a "Sober House" on Monday to be the House Manager. It's not a job. I'll be there in the house to be the ground wire. The resident assistant. A source of consistency and accountability for the guys who will be living there. The house is for men who were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. It's a step further from addiction than an half-way house. I'm excited about this and believe 100% that God has led me to it.
I'm also excited because I know I'm not in this alone. I know I'll be living there, but there is a fantastic team of people who are willing to give time and effort to these men. So if you're in the area and want to help, email me. If getting directly involved isn't your thing, then pray. Pray for the men to live there. Pray for their lives to be changed by Jesus. That they can overcome their addictions and move into a life that is free from those things. Pray for peace and community in the house. And for favor in the eyes of the neighborhood.
Thanks for reading! I'll be back in 2012!
Happy New Year
grace, peace + hope-Bear
Sunday, May 22, 2011
"It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind..."
Ambivalent.
It's the only word I can really use right now to describe how I feel.
I'm back where I grew up. A goal that has been set since the beginning of the year. I'm happy to be here, but sad to be gone from Joliet.
I'm full of hope for the future, still have no idea what any of that will look like, but I have hope from God in it. I'm happy to be near my parents. Happy to be near old friends. Everything is so familiar yet strange. Like I'm looking at things I only dreamed of and didn't see clearly, or things I saw through a dirty window that is now clean.
I keep thinking of John Cusack's character in Grosse Pointe Blank, Martin Blank. He returns home 10 years after disappearing from his senior prom. He goes to where his childhood house was and finds a convenience store complete with disinterested clerk. "What are you doing here?" he asks the confused teen. Then after a pointless string of questions he mutters in utter frustration, "Who - I used to - Where - W-what are you doing here?"
He then calls his therapist and ends his call with, "You can never go home again...but I guess you can shop there."
Granted my situation isn't even remotely similar. But there's a feeling in his frustration that I am experiencing. I don't quite know how to describe it except as the aforementioned ambivalence.
My heart longs for what will be, but yearns for what was.
There is this awesome sadness that keeps trying to cling to me. I've kept it at bay most of this week by keeping busy. But tonight it's sinking it's teeth in. This isn't the verge of depression or some plea for support or anything. Sadness is not in itself a bad thing. I need to endure this and I'm finally letting it happen. I know I'm not alone. I know Jesus is here with me. Also that the love and prayers of friends here in PA and those in IL, MO, and elsewhere are with me.
I'm really missing my Joliet family tonight. The Deeter's, the Bin Youth, the Jahnke's, everyone at SWCC and many others.
I haven't had a good and proper laugh since last Sunday. For those who know what I'm talking about...well, you know what I'm talking about.
To all of you in Joliet, you will never know how much you have impacted and shaped my life. I'm forever changed because of all of you. Individually and as a whole. I can't thank you enough.
I'm sad to have left. But I'm excited about what is yet to come.
Which brings me to the title of this post. From a fantastic show that became a movie. Firefly to Serenity. Some of the best written characters ever created, and with far too short a life span. Like a leaf on the wind, I'm flying, but there is no way to predict where I'm going. One thing you can do though, is tell what type of tree I grew from.
From my parents, brothers and sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, mentors, pastors, school friends, college friends, co-workers, students, youth leaders, business owners, and so on, you have all contributed to who I am. Good, bad, and everything else. I carry all of you with me.
All of you.
"It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind...watch how I soar."
It's the only word I can really use right now to describe how I feel.
I'm back where I grew up. A goal that has been set since the beginning of the year. I'm happy to be here, but sad to be gone from Joliet.
I'm full of hope for the future, still have no idea what any of that will look like, but I have hope from God in it. I'm happy to be near my parents. Happy to be near old friends. Everything is so familiar yet strange. Like I'm looking at things I only dreamed of and didn't see clearly, or things I saw through a dirty window that is now clean.
I keep thinking of John Cusack's character in Grosse Pointe Blank, Martin Blank. He returns home 10 years after disappearing from his senior prom. He goes to where his childhood house was and finds a convenience store complete with disinterested clerk. "What are you doing here?" he asks the confused teen. Then after a pointless string of questions he mutters in utter frustration, "Who - I used to - Where - W-what are you doing here?"
He then calls his therapist and ends his call with, "You can never go home again...but I guess you can shop there."
Granted my situation isn't even remotely similar. But there's a feeling in his frustration that I am experiencing. I don't quite know how to describe it except as the aforementioned ambivalence.
My heart longs for what will be, but yearns for what was.
There is this awesome sadness that keeps trying to cling to me. I've kept it at bay most of this week by keeping busy. But tonight it's sinking it's teeth in. This isn't the verge of depression or some plea for support or anything. Sadness is not in itself a bad thing. I need to endure this and I'm finally letting it happen. I know I'm not alone. I know Jesus is here with me. Also that the love and prayers of friends here in PA and those in IL, MO, and elsewhere are with me.
I'm really missing my Joliet family tonight. The Deeter's, the Bin Youth, the Jahnke's, everyone at SWCC and many others.
I haven't had a good and proper laugh since last Sunday. For those who know what I'm talking about...well, you know what I'm talking about.
To all of you in Joliet, you will never know how much you have impacted and shaped my life. I'm forever changed because of all of you. Individually and as a whole. I can't thank you enough.
I'm sad to have left. But I'm excited about what is yet to come.
Which brings me to the title of this post. From a fantastic show that became a movie. Firefly to Serenity. Some of the best written characters ever created, and with far too short a life span. Like a leaf on the wind, I'm flying, but there is no way to predict where I'm going. One thing you can do though, is tell what type of tree I grew from.
From my parents, brothers and sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, mentors, pastors, school friends, college friends, co-workers, students, youth leaders, business owners, and so on, you have all contributed to who I am. Good, bad, and everything else. I carry all of you with me.
All of you.
"It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind...watch how I soar."
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