Hindsight Is 20/11

This has been an incredible year.  Full of hope, promise and change.  (No political references intended.)  I think back to where I was a year ago, and where I am now...or about to be, and I see God's hand all over it.  Usually I don't see that until I look back, but this time I was blessed to see it the whole time.  Maybe not in every detail, but I knew it was Him who was moving me.

It was today, a year ago, that I began the preparations to move from Joliet, IL back to the area of my childhood/youth in Central PA.  It was an easy choice, but it was difficult on certain levels to execute.  I had to leave behind a wonderful family of friends.  You know who you are.  Yes, you.  I'm not a fan of listing out names and stuff.  There is a deep bond with the different people I called house-mates, the students and leaders of the Bin, my employers, and of course the folks at Southwest.

I also left behind comfort and certainty.

I knew that every weekday I'd head to Plainfield for work.  Wednesdays I would leave work and go straight to the barn for The Bin.  Weekends were always up in the air, except for Sunday.  I knew what I had to look forward to upon parking my car at home.  I always felt welcome and safe.  I knew God had worked in my life there, and that he would continue to work in others.  But my time was up.

So, I planned.  Saved.  Sold.  Packed.  Moved.

I had nothing but support from everyone there in Illinois.  It was hard to leave.  I was blessed to have a great friend travel with me back to PA.  That 13 hour drive would have been a lot harder and longer without her.

Then I was back.

In some ways everything was different.  In others nothing had changed.  There are positives and negatives to both aspects of that.  Some of the fruits that were planted when I first returned are just now starting to grow.  Others may take longer.  But like I said, God's hand has been guiding me this whole time.  Moving me toward the right people and opportunities.

I was blessed to go back to South Africa with BGC again this year.  It was another incredible trip.  Every second spent in Africa makes me love it all the more.  All of the people there have made an indelible impression upon my life.

I got to team up with a fantastic ministry in M28.  Their emphasis on discipleship has  been encouraging and challenging.  While it took a while, I've finally been connected with someone to walk along side of down that road to being a disciple.

Some other great things have been reconnecting with some old friends and allowing those friendships to become deeper than phone/email could allow.  There is something about being in the same space as someone that just makes a huge difference.  This has led to challenges and growth (and practically reviving) my art.  Also a new found appreciation for eating better and trying new things.

Not only old friends, but I have found a fantastic group of new friends in my co-workers, as well as the incredible folks at the Pancake Mansion in Harrisburg!  I have been blessed with such a variety of viewpoints and attitudes from these people.  Looking forward to where these friendships go in the future.

So as I look to the future and the adventure that starts for me Monday...I can look back on 2011 and despite the difficulties and challenges (which I'm skipping over in this post) I know 2012 will be amazing, as long as I keep letting God lead and guide me.  (That's not to say I haven't/won't make mistakes...not claiming to be perfect here!)

The adventure I speak of, is that I'm moving into a "Sober House" on Monday to be the House Manager.  It's not a job.  I'll be there in the house to be the ground wire.  The resident assistant.  A source of consistency and accountability for the guys who will be living there.  The house is for men who were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.  It's a step further from addiction than an half-way house.  I'm excited about this and believe 100% that God has led me to it.

I'm also excited because I know I'm not in this alone.  I know I'll be living there, but there is a fantastic team of people who are willing to give time and effort to these men.  So if you're in the area and want to help, email me.  If getting directly involved isn't your thing, then pray.  Pray for the men to live there.  Pray for their lives to be changed by Jesus.  That they can overcome their addictions and move into a life that is free from those things.  Pray for peace and community in the house.  And for favor in the eyes of the neighborhood.

Thanks for reading!  I'll be back in 2012!

Happy New Year
grace, peace + hope-Bear

Child of Weakness

Every now and then there are lyrics in songs I have sung hundreds of times that suddenly leap out at me and slap my spirit across it's ethereal face.  A year or two ago it was the carol, O Holy Night.  The line from that song that got me was, "til He arrived, and the soul felt its worth." 

Wow.  Think about that for a second.

                                    The soul felt its worth.  When Jesus showed up.

How cool is that?  Yeah, pretty darn cool.  Yesterday it was the song, Jesus Paid It All, the Kristian Stanfill version.  Honestly, either version has the same lyric.  Both are great.  There were three words that leaped out of this song yesterday that really got my attention.  But they are only part of the full thought that redeems those three words.  Those words are of course, the title of this post.

I can hear the Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness, watch and pray
Find in me thine all in all

Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

I thought to myself as those lyrics escaped my lips, That is exactly what we are.  What I am.  We are all a child of weakness.  I started to think about my sins.  And they are legion: anger, jealousy, fear, lust, hate, rage, lies, gluttony, selfishness, laziness, fear, pride, self-righteousness, envy, greed, and all that impure stuff.

Fail sauce.  Weakness.

There are many things I am not proud of in my life.  I'm not going for full confessional here.  If you want to talk with me personally, you can email me through my profile and we'll talk.  Some people have been shocked when I've shared some of the things I've done.  I've heard comments such as, "You are not the person I thought you were," or "I'm seeing you in a whole different light."

Let that light be the light of Jesus.  Yes, I am full of sin.  This is not me bragging or trying to claim the title of chiefest of sinners.  Paul can take that one.  Some might look at my past and say, "Well, those things aren't so bad.  Everyone does that."  I hear that a lot.  Versions of "everyone is doing it," or "That's just how things are now."

When did jumping off the cliff with your friends become acceptable?

And when did parents, teachers, mentors and the rest decide they would jump too?  Why do we accept so much that is clearly not good.  Why do we tolerate the intolerable?

Because we are weak.  I know I am.  But that is where the rest of those lyrics come in.

Find in me thine all in all

Me there meaning Jesus.  Jesus is our strength.  The siblings Moses and Miriam sing this after crossing the Red Sea.  (Exodus 15)

The Lord is my strength and my song;

he has become my salvation.

Think about that.  The Lord is our strength and song.  Is he?  Is he your strength?  Is he mine?  I can only answer for one of those questions.  And it's not yours.  In our weakness the strength of God will show through.  Moses didn't make the sea part.  God did.  Moses knew he couldn't do it.  It is beyond the strength of a human to do that.  But, God told him what to do.  His weakness allowed God's strength to be shown.

So can mine.  So can yours.

God's strength will carry us past our addictions.  He will lift us over our own pride.  He will break down the walls of depression and fear.  His strength transforms our weakness.  Our weakness with God's strength is an incredible story.  A story we can share with others around us.  To give them hope, to see their weakness and allow the strength of God into their lives.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Joshua 1.  Joshua has taken on the responsibility of leading the Israelites after Moses' death.   God is telling Josh what's about to happen.  What he is going to do.  Joshua has already seen God do some amazing things.  But God still tells this guy, "be strong and courageous."  God tells him three times, and the people even chime in once to make sure it really sinks in.

This passage really took hold of my heart several years ago.  So much in fact that it's the basis for the tattoos I have (in Gaelic - Old Irish) on each arm.  On my left arm is the word Strength, because it is the weaker of my arms, and on the right is Courage because it is the arm I lead with.  Now I know tattoos aren't for anyone.  These words on my arm do not give me strength and courage.  But they remind me that I need strength and courage.  Like Moses, I know that I am weak.  But God is strong.  It is his strength and courage I look to when I see these words.

So in your weakness, like mine, turn to God's strength.  It's in him we find our "all in all."  He is the everything in everything.  He is.

grace, peace + hope
-Bear

Size Matters Not

In my favorite movie of the Star Wars Saga, The Empire Strikes Back, the hero Luke is on a swamp planet training to be a Jedi Knight.  It is here that he meets the great Jedi master, Yoda.  Yoda is this little green creature with big pointy ears.  Not what Luke (or the original audience was expecting.)

During a bit of training Yoda is teaching Luke to use the Force to lift his crashed ship out of the swap.  After struggling Luke gives up and says, "I can't. It's too big."  Then Yoda says this,

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.

Yoda, who was hardly as tall as Luke's knee proceeds to lift the ship out of the swamp on to dry(er) land.  Luke, astonished say, "I don't believe it."  Yoda replies, sadly, "That is why you fail."

Ok, keep that in mind cause I'm gonna diverge a bit here.  I recently saw a magazine for church leaders with a cover article along the lines of "Is Small Church the Next Big Thing?"  Now I wasn't able to read the article to see what they were saying.  So I'm passing no opinion of the actual material.  But one thing is very clear to me.

Size Matters Not.

Yoda was able to lift something much larger than himself because he believed.  Luke, by all appearances was more capable.  Looks are deceiving.

What I'm getting at is not that small churches are better than big churches.  What really matters is the hearts of the people gathering.  Small churches may be more like what happened in Acts.  I personally don't like attending mega-churches.  I've had a hard time keeping my attitude toward them in check.  But God kinda smacked me in the back of the head recently (like a loving father) and I realize that the size of the church is wholly, utterly, completely irrelevant.

A small group of 20 that meets on Sunday just to listen to a person lead a discussion or message, sing songs with out a worship team, and go through their week not living out what they discussed is no different than a mega-church that has 4,000 people, two worship teams, and a parking lot to embarrass a football stadium where the people don't live out during the week.

The revolution that followers of Jesus need to see is not about the size of the church they are in.  It is how we live our life between the services and sermons.

We can't wait for our pastors or whatever title you like to tell us to go to our neighbor with a 3 step plan of conversion.  There doesn't have to be a massive event to bring Jesus into the life of your co-workers.  Invite them into your home, into your life.  Make the time.  Skip a church event or 2 and go get to know these people.  Listen to them.  And don't jump right into your church no matter how wonderful it is.

Show them Jesus in YOUR life.

Size matters not.  The size of the congregation doesn't matter to Jesus.  He left us a few specific instructions.  Go into all the world, baptizing, and making disciples of all people.

So let's go.  You and me.  Out into the world.  Away from the pews and couches and live life along side others. 

Jesus is out there, lets go take him a drink of water.

grace, peace + hope
-Bear

Out of Steam?

Sometimes is feels like we get all excited about something for a short period of time and then fizzle out.  Like this whole revolution thing.  Let me assure you, that as far as I am concerned this is just getting started.  I know there are many of you out there who share this idea.

Where are you?

Let us hear from you.  This is not about me.  This is not the Bear Show.  I'm blogging and writing because I have the time and this comes relatively easy to me.  Your story should be heard as well.  Tell us what you are doing.  Not as bragging, but a way to share what God is doing in you.  How he is transforming your life, and how that could be effecting others.

The Church is a community.  A body of believers.  Let's build that body up any way we can.  Some of you may be in other parts of Pennsylvania, or the other side of the country.  Some may even be on the other side of an ocean or two.  We can have community through the web.

Let us encourage one another!

For me today, I will say this.  Temptations.  They jump out at me all the time.  Some are new.  Some are old.  Habits, addictions, attitudes.  Things I thought I had walked away from.  I'd be lying if I said it was getting easier to turn them away.  To not give into them.  And they come everyday.  To buy more stuff that I don't really need.  To go to that website.  To get angry and lash out, or say hurtful things.

It's not easy to refuse them.  But the more I get to know Jesus.  The more time I spend learning the Father's voice.  The easier it is to run to him.  To cling to his words, the Word, and in doing so not give in to the temptations.  It is him who protects.  He is the Shield of Faith that puts out the fiery arrows of the enemy!

Please hear what I'm saying there.  It's not about me.  This is about God's work.  What he does in us when we draw closer to him.  And I for one have a very long way to go.  But his promises are true.  He is good.  He did give us the Comforter to help us and guide us.

When we run out of steam, it's because we're trying to fight sin with our own strength.  And that is like trying to out run a speeding train.  It's impossible.  But with God, all things are possible.  He is our strength.  Our deliverer.  Philippians 4 (12-14)

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

It doesn't matter if we have everything we need in life, or nothing.  Jesus is who we need more than anything.  And a supportive body of believers doesn't hurt either.  Paul says he knows how to survive, to carry on, but he encourages the Philippians for helping in his difficulty.

So, today, if God is doing something in/through you.  Share it.  With a humble heart to encourage us.  If you are struggling, or going through a difficulty, Share it.  At the very least (which isn't the least at all) we can pray for each other.

Have a day, be a blessing to those around you.

grace, peace + hope
-Bear

When the Stars Fell Like Rain (a poem)

Just an old poem of mine today.  Enjoy!

When the Stars Fell Like Rain

 

I heard the Night sky to me

As a sailor hears the sea

A piercing cry in the stillness of the dark

I stretched out below her

Gazing up at her brilliant form

Her children, the stars, sang out with her

Echoing her song

I let my mind carry me past the homes around me

Past the street lights trying to wash out her glory

In their song I hear the melody of God’s design

As chorus and verse waxed and waned

Harmony and rhyme washed over me

Like waves upon the shore

The song softened

My soul stirred as I’ve not felt before

A ghost of a whisper

The voices continued

Steady and precise

The beat pressed on

Subtly the volume increases

The crescendo bursts forth

A waterfall of joy

Drowned me in its deluge

To the East

Three stars flare and fall

Their voices lifted in praise

To the South

Two stars flung themselves across the horizon

Their song a song of triumph

The Earth joined in the song

The stars fell like rain

A sound the world has never known was heard

God sang to us that night

His love for us in every thing

And the stars fell like rain

Washing over me, cleansing my soul

I cried out in worship to my King

Bowing before His awesome wonders

His love enveloped me

And the stars fell like rain


grace, peace + hope

-Bear

Seedless, Part III

What is the point of fruit that doesn't have seeds?

Well, in the context of literal fruit, it makes them easier and by some standards more enjoyable to eat.  It's so annoying to spit them out, or pick around them.

That can so easily be transplanted to the life of a follower of Jesus.  Sure, we can bear the fruit Jesus talks about without seed.  We can share some of the things he taught without the annoying little truths at the core of them.  We can love the people around us at our places of worship.  We can help our friends and family out.  It's easy to join in whatever the next outreach at the "church."

And those are all good things.  But it's not enough.

These are things that Jesus said even the "Gentiles" did that.  (Matthew 5:43-48)  It's not enough to love those we are supposed to love.  Or that love comes somewhat naturally.

For too long the "church" (and I include myself in that) has been trying to see Jesus by gazing toward the pulpits, lecterns, or relevant cafe table with a tall chair.  Please do not misunderstand.  I'm not condemning pastors or speakers or any of that.  Some of my dearest friends are pastors, and I highly respect them and what is in their hearts.  I don't know where I'd be in life if I hadn't 'gone to church," or been in a youth group.  But it's time for the congregation to stop congregating and start conveying.

It's time we turn from the pulpits and go to the people.

If we are to bear the fruit Jesus wants us to produce, we can't just gather once or twice a week for an hour.  We can still do that, but we must do more.  We have to be the Church when we leave the building.  We have to be the Church when we go to work, the store or at home.

We also won't really become the Church if we only go to those places either.  Remember what I posted the other day.  More importantly what Jesus said about the least of these.  We have to go places we wouldn't normally go.  Prisons.  Hospitals.  To the homeless.  To the widows and orphans.

Gasp, even across the imaginary property lines (or real fence) to our neighbors!

Our goal is not conversion.  You and I cannot "save" someone.  Nor is that our mission.  Jesus didn't say, "Go into the world and get people to convert."  He told us to make disciples.  To baptize.  There is nothing about us delivering salvation.

That is for Jesus.  And he said, "It is accomplished."  My sins, your sins, the sins of the world have been forgiven.  Jesus and his Spirit are the powers behind that.  They are the one who will change peoples lives.  He is the one who will move someone to cry out for salvation.  Not a clever conversation, witty video, or compelling 3 point sermon complete with a power point.

Not you.  Not me.

What you and I can do, is see Jesus on the face of every person we meet.  Sure, that might slow us down a little bit.  But what's the rush?  What do we need to race to so fast?  I know I would appreciate life slowing down a little bit.  And like I said, I'm working on it.

Maybe you're thinking, hey dude, quite writing about this stuff and put your money where your mouth is.  And you're right.  There have been a few things popping up lately that I'm pursuing, but they are not to a sharing point yet.  But I will.

We may not be able to save someone.  But we can be the hands of Jesus that bring them water when they are thirsty.  We can be the ears that listen to our neighbor, and really hear what they are saying.  We can be the smiling face in the store, either as shopper or employee.

Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  I agree.  If we want to see people follow Jesus, we need to follow Jesus.  Where ever he takes us.  To the projects of D.C., to the suburbs of Chicago, orphanages in Africa, and neighborhoods in Pennsylvania.

I'll change Gandhi's words, and maybe someone else has already said it, but, "Be the Jesus you want to see in the world."  A revolution requires change.  That change needs to happen in those moving the revolution.  I'm praying I change every morning.  To be more like Jesus.  To be not seedless.

Be full of seeds.  Share them.

grace, peace + hope
-Bear

Seedless, Part II

So what's the big deal with seedless fruit?

There's nothing wrong with it.  Right?  I mean it doesn't cause mutations or anything like that in the people who eat it.  Well, I hope not.  But, fruit was designed to produce seeds.  It's how they reproduce.  You know a fruit bearing plant is healthy when it produces fruit that contains seeds.  That way, it will continue on.  God said it was good for this to happen.

But my real issue isn't with items in the produce aisle.

It's with myself.

And others like me.  People who say they are followers of Jesus but don't really produce fruit.  Or if we do it's just the stuff that tastes good but doesn't result in more fruit.  Jesus was pretty specific about this.  In John 15, where he talks about being the vine and branches, he tells the disciples this;

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

He cuts off every branch...that bears no fruit.  Jesus was talking to them in words that were very clear.  They were understandable references.  It shouldn't be that hard for us to understand this.  But I suppose in the "church" there has been a tendency to over complicate the Bible.  Everything gets really deep and super spiritual.  There's lots of flavor, and no hard bits to really work around.

Sure there are the tough subjects, but they don't relate to me, they are about someone else.  And thanks to this speaker who has had years and years of training and education, I am now more enlightened about this issue, topic, what-have-you.

We can go to "church" every week and learn more and more about Jesus and never really change.  No change in us, no change in the world around us.

Seedless.

What does it matter what you know?  What does it matter what I know?  Knowing isn't enough.  Knowing didn't spare those who mocked Noah.  They laughed at their impending doom.  Knowing Jesus died for us, that he showed us how to live in the kingdom now doesn't count for a hill of beans.  When we hold all that knowledge in, were like the servant who buried the gold because he was too afraid to invest or take a chance with it.

You remember what happened to him?  What he had was taken, and he was kicked out.  Or to use the words of Jesus from John 15 he was a branch that was cut off.  Please don't misunderstand.  I am not talking about money, tithes, or offerings.

This is about life and not sharing it.  My life.  Your life.  Jesus' life.

Think about this.  Jesus and his disciples were walking along the road when Jesus sees a fig tree.  When he sees it doesn't have any fruit, he curses it and it dies.  Sounds extreme right?  But there is a lesson in this that is easily lost on a culture like ours that doesn't understand the created world we live in.  Jesus' actions have a reason.  In the scripture the fig tree was said to have produced leaves.  And based on the time of year of this story, a fig tree with leaves should have had fruit.

It didn't. 

A fruit bearing tree without fruit, when all evidence suggests it should have, is pretty much worthless.

Do you have leaves?  Do I?  Am I producing fruit?  If I do, it's not enough.  I'm working on that.  I can't keep going to "church" whether it is in a home, a coffee house, or million dollar facility and gorging myself on another good sermon or series. 

Something needs to change in me.  How I look at what it means to really follow Jesus.  This isn't just a rant about "mega-churches" or that sort of thing.  This is about the body of Christ and how we live.  Rather how we don't live.
 
It's time to change that.  It's time for a revolution in the Church.  A transformation in the Body of Christ.  It's time we start bearing fruit with seeds in it.


to be concluded...


grace, peace + hope
-Bear