Further Horizons (a poem)

Further Horizons

a new dawn breaks
radiant light from sea to sea
gilding the peaks of Chomolungma
contrasting the contours of the Jordan Rift
their depths are revealed
to that golden sphere
for there is nothing new under the sun

but there are further horizons with in my soul

the ways of Man
are known to all
but the path of a man
who can claim to know?
his steps are kept hidden
even from himself

yet
from vainglorious ambitions
to the meanest of schemes
God knows the heart and breath
of every single thing

from the plunging roots
to the stretching leaves
each budding flower
and fruit filled tree
from bark to sap
canopy to twig
God knows them all

each furry squeak of every mouse
and mane tossed roar of any lion
wail of wolf, and hyena howl
the Lord knows every one

each well intended blunder
and great but horrible decree
each birth and death
every pugnacious massacre
He feels them all

amidst the grime of future devastation
the cold, silver night of depression's winter
the tastes of joy
the fragrance of despair

every dappled wood of inspiration
and deep, clear lake of love's strong draught
the monumental peaks of utter failure
to the small, close meadow of worshipful transformation

God is there

from the tidal shores of current hope
to the cold, crushing trench of doubt

He is there

even to the furthest horizon of my soul

Mountains and Madness

I just finished reading "Into Thin Air," earlier this week.  That is an intense story.  It's a first person perspective (of author Jon Krakauer) of the ascent and descent of Mt. Everest in the Spring of 1996, when one of the worst "disasters," ever happened to a team.

I believe it takes a certain type of person to want to climb mountains.  To know that one wrong hand hold, one wrong placement of your foot could lead to your imminent demise...that takes incredible bravery, ludicrous stupidity, or some form of mental deformity.  But that's just my opinion.  And yet those who want to climb Everest? 

Completely bonkers.

Now before you go off thinking I'm ridiculing people who do this I'm really not.  I'm not of the mindset, "Well, you wouldn't have died if you didn't climb that mountain," or "You'd still have your hands and feet..."  No.  I admire the people who can do it.  Do I think it's necessary, absolutely not.  Neither are movies, TV shows, or books.  But I love them.

Reading the pages of that book, I felt like I was there on the mountain with them.  The panic, the confusion, the dizzying sense of lack of oxygen and how it slows down your brain.  So much that the author confused one of the people he was closest to on the climb with someone else.  Which may have resulted in the others death.  Which the author (at least at the time of the writing of the book) seems to be plagued with "survivors guilt," over.

It was a traumatizing and life altering experience for all who started up the slopes.

This climbing of mountains reminds me of living a life following Christ.  Sometimes we encounter mountains on that journey.  Things such as debt, temptation, pride, death in a family etc.  Those are mountains that we have to overcome.  That we have to climb.  We don't need to be trained.  We don't need expensive gear and permits.  (It costs up to $25,000 to get a permit just to climb Everest, forget about flights, gear etc...)  We don't need supplemental oxygen because out bodies can't function at those altitudes.  All we need to climb those mountains in life, is Jesus.

In John 14 he says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled."  He had just told the disciples that he was going away.  But that they didn't need to be worried because he would be back.  He says it again later, "Do not let your hearts be troubled or be afraid."  Why?  Because he was sending "the Spirit of truth," to be with them.

He calls it the Spirit of truth, right after he tells them "I am the way, the truth, and the life..."  Jesus is the truth, so the Spirit of truth is the Spirit of Jesus.  The Holy Spirit of God.  He is with us.  That is all we need.  For climbing over or moving the mountains before us.  Jesus is all we need.

Sure that is easy to say.  But it's like any relationship with a "real" human being on this earth.  You get to know them by spending time together, talking, and most of us like getting to know other people one on one.  Group settings are great, but to get to the heart of someone, it's intimate and close. 

It works the same with Jesus.  I don't think he's the center of attention type of guy.  I mean think about that.  He always like to go off alone, or just be with the disciples, or even among them was closest with Peter, James and John.  If you were at a party with Jesus, you probably would know he was there.

So, if you're at a party or out with a bunch of friends or just distracted by life, Jesus is there, wanting you to spend time with him, but that's up to us.  We need to put down the iPad, step away from the XBox, let the kids do their thing, and spend time with him.  Alone, in quite away from the chaos that seems to be life.

Movies and TV can wait, the Game...can be recorded, that new whatever...can be put off one more hour.  You get to know Jesus by spending time with him.  Real quality time.

So, he tells us not to be troubled...I'm leaving you my Spirit.  We need to get to the place where we say, "Thanks, that is all I need."  And we can climb that mountain, because Jesus is there with us.  We don't need our friends and family (although they are great to have) but Jesus needs to be ENOUGH.  All we need.

Because when Jesus is that for us, he can use us to help others.   When we aren't relying on the strength of those around us, but solely on Jesus, his strength supersedes our ability and transforms others.

Another thing about climbing mountains.  Don't go out of your way to climb a mountain that isn't necessary.  Jesus said this (Matt 6:34) "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Don't climb the mountains that aren't yours to climb.  It's so easy when we try to serve others to take their burdens upon ourselves.  But that isn't our job.

Yes, we are to love our neighbors, and help them.  But their spiritual burdens are for them to bear, or drop at Jesus feet.  We can share life, encourage and pray for them, but we can not forgive sin and wipe them clean.  That is God's right, and his alone.  Galatians 6:2 tells us to "bear one another's burdens," and I believe in context with that passage it is saying exactly this.  To share in experience, prayer, support and understanding.  But do not take up their sin as your own.

If you are ministering to someone who is addicted to say gambling, you don't in turn start to gamble to understand them.  You don't take their debt onto yourself.  You help them along, keep them accountable, and as Jesus said, "love your neighbor as yourself."

Sometimes we struggle and suffer similar things with people at the same time.  We can encourage one another, smile, and help each other along, but we have to remember that it's God, not us or our friend that is going to get us to the top of that mountain, and down the other side.

God, Jesus, the Spirit as one are the author and finisher of our faith.  The beginning and the end.  Jesus took on the sin and suffering of the world, he knows exactly what you are going through.  He already carried you through it.  Rely on him.

Don't lean on your own strength, your own determination.  Trust in Jesus to be there with you every step of the way.  He can't be burdened with sin, just like he wouldn't be limited by oxygen if he were to climb Everest.  He is strong when we are weak, and we will be strengthened in our weakness by him.

So seek courage and strength from God when you have to climb to the bewildering peaks of whatever obstacle you face, he will see you back down safely, and make you stronger than you were before by replacing your reliance on yourself, into trust in him.  So when you are back in the valley, you will have had a life altering experience with a positive outcome.

The only casualties will be the sin, fear, and regret you leave behind.

Sketchbook Dump

This is pretty much a dump post of all my sketches in my current book.  This will increase dramatically as the days come.  I may not post everything that I sketch, but I'll be trying to draw for at least 15-20 mins a day unitl ideas and concepts start happening and I go for hours.

So here is the latest image from Jan 6th.  I just doodled the girl on the left.  She's a bit crosseyed, and has alignment problems with her nose/mouth but I was happy with the hair.  Inspired by the Adam Hughes "Powergirl" portion of my Mac background.  Which is where the random eyes and mouth come from.  The lips in the upper left, and the eye in the lower right are from another AH sketch of Wonder Woman.  The pair of eyes is from Power Girl, and the bottom eye is just my interpretation of my interpretation of the right eye.

Cthulhu here is just an unfinished doodle of the creepster from HP Lovecraft's amazing stories.

This one is pretty self explanitory.  Just sketching during Easter service at church a few years back.  If it helps, he looked less European in my mind, it just didn't translate to paper.

This one is just a toonish girl.  Her hair is starting to become kinda tentacle-y.  Watch out.

Ok, so here's kind of an artsy-fartsy thing.  I just had this idea going through my head about what people believe etc, and wrote the words down.  Then I sketched in pen and these random images are what we have.

Ok the next 2 images are from a story I'm "working" on.  The first is a villain who was pretty much what I thought the "boogey man" looked like.  Slimey-mud guy, with a mouth that can open the entire length of his body.  The name Bubak comes from "research" I did on wikipedia about folk tales etc.  He's seriously a bad dude despite this cartoonish rendering.

The faires fighting over a pickle slice.  Seemed like a great way for the hero to think he's loosing his mind.  He's an American office drone working in London.  He looks out the window of the whateverteenth floor and sees this. 

So the Easter Bunny gets the birds and the bees conversation.  Meh.  I think I referenced a t-shirt for the basic design of the bunny.  It was a squirel.

I was anticipating "300" coming out a month after drawing this one.

I think I had just watched "The Messenger - The Story of Joan of Arc."  She is a fascinating person and has an incredible story.  So this is her getting burned at the stake.  Delightful, I know.

Uncertain Hope (a poem)

Uncertain Hope

the corners of the globe draw closer together
yet never have they felt so far apart
traveling nowhere at the speed of light
we drift apart as human beings
connected by the avatars of Imagination
nothing is stable
but Hope remains

i don't know where I'm going
or how i will get there
plans i had made to take me to the future
forge me where I stand
unable to go
regrets and pains tether me still
yet there is Hope

the gulls of Failure cry out
Uncertainty is assured
Doubt strives to remain secure
while Confusion lies in the prow
Sorrow is churned within the wake

there is no solid course nor ground
malleable and unsure is the way before
the compass falters
still Hope remains
it drives me forward
and sustains my steps
when all is uncertain
Hope

For the Trees (a poem)

"For the Trees"

looking to the East I see a tree
it stands alone, magnificent
I stare and wonder at it's glory
I begin to journey toward it
focused and sure of my way

all along the path
I marvel to God at the splendor
and beauty of this tree
long weeks pass ere I reach the shade
beneath it's expansive branches

"God!" I cry, "Let me be a part of this!
Let me stay here and care for this tree.
Surely you pointed me to this place."

God sighed and pointed, "Look, there."
I followed his finger as it pointed back to the tree.
I examined the texture of it's bark, the complexity of it's leaves

"That is what I'm looking at!
God, this gift, it is beyond my understanding.
Let me stay here and learn."

Again God sighed.
He looked at me, as only a father can,
when their children doesn't understand.
He took my by the shoulder,
guided me just past the tree and said,
"No.  Look at that."

I followed his outstretched arm
and saw
just beyond the tree

before me sprawled massive mountains
and leagues of forests full of beautiful trees
my mind struggled to comprehend all that I saw
the hues and shapes of his design

how did I miss all this!?

How did I journey for so long
and not see this vast ocean before me

I looked up to my Father
He smiled
"Go." he whispered softly
and he gently pushes me toward my future

Awakened

So, a few months ago a friend sent me a link to a letter.  A letter challenging the North American churches in regards to artists.  It really connected with me, not so much in the vein it was intended, but that it awoke some, thing, with in me.  The artist that has been dormant far too long. 

From that spouted a conversation with my pastor about using those talents, and he suggested/asked that I make our churches Christmas Eve Story/Coloring book this year.  Two months later, barely on time for deadline I produced "Gordon."  It was the most hands on drawing I had done in years. 

3 to be exact.  When I last went home for Christmas.  Right after creating Gordon, I went home to PA again.  I had a few really great conversations over the scant 3 days I was there.  Conversations that have given birth to new ideas.  Conversations that are still reverberating with in me nearly 2 weeks later.

I got a few books by comic artists that I love, and studied their work, and words (if provided) about what they learned as they drew etc.  I then purchased a cheap set of new markers. 

Breaking them in lead me to the following image below.

He came from the idea of doing poster like images of Bible Stories.  Since we're talking about Daniel at the Bin this month, I figured I'd start with Daniel in the lion's den.  I roughed out a few thumbnails, and was frustrated.  So I thought I'd just try a close up his face.  So I googled "old man's face," and sketched this fellow. (I just re-did that search and you can probably find the basis for this sketch there)

There are things I like and don't like about it, and that's all good cause it's a sketch.  Granted it took about 30-45 mins so it's a long sketch, but there he is.  I will continue working with my style and try to find a place I like.  When I get the full image of Danny with the lions, I'll share it too.   I do like the different line qualities the different pens gave.  I found a loosenes in the line work when I inked it that I've not experienced before.

Thanks to J. Scott Campbell for the idea of the "black triangle" bust look.  I'm sure others have done it, but I know that's where pulled that black "V" from.  (I think it ended up giving him an Obi-wan vibe.)

For now, I going to try to sketch at least 15-20 mins a day and shake the rust and cobwebs off the old drawing hand.  See what comes of that.

Til then, Happy 2011!