78 - So Tear Me Open, Pour Me Out

I  remember hearing this song sometime in my senior year at Cedar Cliff High School.  I was beginning to branch out my musical tastes, and feeling odd about liking this band.  But this song just did something for me.

For many die hard fans this album was a betrayal.  For others it was fresh and exciting to see this band do something a little different.  Personally, I don't think the album as a whole is that different in sound/style from the previous album.  The big difference?

The band members cut their hair.

Song 78
        "Until It Sleeps" from Metallica's album Load

The song is said to be written with James Hetfield's mother in mind.  Her struggle with cancer.  Or it's about anger.  I guess it's one of those songs that could be about anything.  For me it's about the grip of sin, selfishness, and greed on an individual's life.

Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once, and now it stays

It's the addicts downward spiral.  You give in once, it gets easier and easier until you can't exist with out that thing.  This theme seems to grip me more when I watch the video for this song, which has versions of Hieronymus Bosch's paintings brought to life by actors.

I tell you what, his art work, freaks me right out of my gourd.

The video is quite powerful.  Look his art up before watching the video if you don't already know his work.  Otherwise seeing it in the video might give you the wrong idea.  Look up:  Garden of Earthly Delights, Adam & Eve from "Haywain" and Ecce Homo, which is a Christ image.

All that said, I love this song.  For me it carries a purging fire to it.  Meaning, when I listen to it, I feel like I am confessing and just sloughing off all the stuff that makes me feel grimy.  Sometimes I need that.

This song really connects to Autumn for me because of it's heavier sound.  It throws itself late into the season, when the trees are  barren and the threat of snow is becoming too familiar.  It's not a happy song, it's not a light song.  But for me, it's necessary to have this here.

Also, I remember one distinct drive to Kansas from Missouri for Thanksgiving at my buddy Erik's house.  Not the drive itself, but that we listened to this song.  I remember listening as we pulled my Aerostar into his driveway and getting out from that 3+ hour drive.  Ah, Kansas at Thanksgiving.  Those were good years.  Josh, Erik, and I and Erik's friend from home Nate.  We went camping, shooting, hooked up our own network and played Delta Forces, or various Playstation/Sega Saturn or other game systems."

Good times.


grace, peace + hope-Jesse