61 - One Step One Prayer

I can't pin down the time I heard this artist for the first time.  I know I was still in high school, 9th or 10th grade at Red Land.

She was (and still is) one of my all time favorite female singers.  She has one of the most unique voices and ways of singing.  And most of her songs are very poetic and full of depth.

This particular song, and album, I didn't pick up (or download) until around Christmas 2008.

Song 61
        "Torch" from the album Flavors of Entanglement by Alanis Morissette

No one sings like Alanis does.  Her odd inflections and emphasis are unique and incredible.  This song instantly jumped at me when I downloaded the album.  The gentle piano intro, the slow build throughout the song.  The music is simply wonderful and calming.

All this week the songs (starting with Song 60) are about love.  While yesterday's was about enduring till the end.  Today's song has a more melancholy flavor.  The title gives it all away.  But there is a tenderness to this song.

The longing and reflection back on what was.  To me, this song sounds more like the person she carried the torch for has passed away.  I don't think that's the actual case, but that is the imagery I get.  That there was something so final to the way things ended that she had no choice but to carry it on before laying it down.

These are the things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
And I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

And listening to her list off the things that she does miss.  It near breaks your heart because they are such common and ordinary things.

I miss your smell and your style
And your pure abiding way
Miss your approach to life
And your body in my bed
Miss your take on anything
And the music you would play
Miss cracking up and wrestling
Our debriefs at end of day

It's not the big gestures.  The bold actions and heroic moments.  It's the little things.  The ones that fill up a lifetime.  "miss your take on anything," I mean, that floors me, to just want to know what the other person though about...whatever.

This song moves me.  I never want to experience a loss like this for whatever reason.  But I hope I get the opportunity to love like this.


grace, peace + hope
-Jesse