08 - The Less I Give the More I Get Back

The Concept:  Feature a song a day for every day of the most magnificent season of Autumn.  The songs are ones that capture the thoughts/ideas/images/feelings of the season for me. 

It's my "Autumnal Playlist" if you will.
Today's song was one of those happy things I stumbled on because a friend posted a link on the facebook.  (Props to Nina Ferry!)  It was some time in February or March of 2012 when I saw her post/comment about this band called The Civil Wars.  I thought, "What a strange name for a band."  But I listened to the song (can't remember which, possibly the one I'm featuring today,) and just loved it.  It was another one of those that I sampled the album and downloaded the whole thing on the spot.

Song 08/Day 08

Today's Song:  "Poison & Wine," from The Civil Wars debut, Barton Hollow.

While the song entered my life in the damp, wet, and chilly months of late winter, it had me longing for Autumn.  Once again the instruments remind me of falling leaves and rain.  There is this steady, intermittent beat that feels like wiper-blades smacking hard across a windshield.

There is a mournful heart to this song.  Just the lyrics themselves bare the souls of the voices.

him:  You only know what I want you to
her:  I know everything you don't want me to

There is  a dichotomy to love that this song addresses so brutally and beautifully. 

him:  I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
her:  the less I give, the more I get back

The feeling I get when I listen to this song is that of a love that needs to be fought for.  That there is this deep connection between the singers (their "voice" not the actual musicians,) that keep getting block by their own actions.  They want so badly to love each other that they are practically screaming it at each other so loudly that they can't hear the other person.

One of my favorite lines is:

I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you

 There is something so beautifully committed about that line.  I know it's not about God, but I can't help but feel that's how God feels about us.  That while there is a choice, there is no questioning that his choice will always be for us.

There might be the ability to choose, but the choice will always be made the same way.

I hope to love in that way.  Not just in a relationship, but in life...period.

The final lyrics that really follow me are the words of the chorus,

I don't love you, but I always will

I know it's an enigma, confusing thought...but I love it.  Maybe it's the I don't love you (right now,) but I'm always going to choose you.  I don't know.  That's another reason I love this song.  It's not a clean get away.  It's messy and thick.  Just like life.

And life is worth living.

Enjoy!

So journey down to Barton Hollow by The Civil Wars on iTunes and check out Poison & Wine

-Jesse