Home is Behind, The World is Ahead

Music gets under my skin like few things do.  And one band that delivers song after song right through me is, Mumford & Sons.  I can't find a thing I don't like about their latest album.  But this post isn't about a band.  But I wanted to post lyrics from their song Babel that are just ringing true this morning.

'Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
And I believe in grace and choice
And I know perhaps my heart is fast,
But I’ll be born without a mask

2012 was not an easy year.  But why should it have been?  And I know my year compared to others wasn't that bad.  I'm not complaining.  But it was rough.  And 2011 wasn't a smooth year either.  Again, why should it have bee?

I moved from Illinois back to Pennsylvania in May 2011.  I left behind a lot of comfort.  A good job, a cosy home, great friends, and a clear defined roll in ministry.  It was familiar, comfortable, and for lack of better words, pretty much what I always wanted.  At least in some regards.  But a curious thing started in 2010, the things I thought I wanted began to change.  Or become redefined.  The comfort of where I was was not comfortable in my spirit.

That's not saying anything about or against any of those things.  For those of you who are on a similar journey with me, in following God, know that he doesn't usually let us settle in with comfort, ease, and familiarity for long.

So here I am, a year and a half later and I feel like every step that I've taken since then has been one hammer fall after another.  The ringing metal of a blacksmith at his trade echoing through my soul like a pebble falling into a canyon.

I don't want to be anywhere else.


Contrary to what many 'reality' shows, celebrities, movies, and other things tell you.  Life is not about living comfortably.  At least not if you want to follow Jesus.  Oh there will be times of rest, peace, and comfort, but it won't necessarily come from nice things.  It generally will come from an exhausting day spent giving of yourself to others.  Knowing that His love and hope have been poured into people around you.

Last night on returning from a New Years Eve get together my good friend asked me what my dreams of the future looked like.  It was a very good question.  One I do tumble about the old noggin frequently.  But I've not been asked to put words to it for some time.  I'm not satisfied with the response I gave, though I wouldn't say it was inaccurate, but it was a finger painting compared to what I really see in the fully detailed painting in my heart.

She asked what it looked like where I was, who or what was around me.  I rambled off a few things about traveling and working/living in various communities around the globe, particularly in Africa and Europe, and a few other things.  But when I got home and close my eyes this is what I saw:

I'm sitting on a small stool in a dimly lit room.  There are a few other people with me.  I can't tell who they are specifically.  One of them is family.  Be it one of my brothers, my sister, or maybe a wife.  Three of the others are people who live in whatever town/village/city we are in.  The remaining two are travelers or visitors.  I don't know where this place is, but it's not the USA.

We are sitting around this smallish room, not crowded, but tight.  There are remains of a meal on plates on our laps or tables and the arms of chairs.  I'm holing a cup of water.  Everyone is tired, dirty, and there are scrapes and bruises on all of us.  But we are all smiling and laughing.  I am happy.  Some one is telling a story and I nearly choke on my water.  (If you've been around me while I'm eating or drinking and funny stories are being told, you can easily picture this.)

Whatever we are working on is coming along.  There are complications and difficulties.  But all endeavors worth time, sweat, and blood have such things.  We have every right to be discouraged and frustrated, and there may be some elements of that, but we will tackle the project again tomorrow.  And the problems will be overcome.  The laughter subsides and well all grow pensive for a moment before the light flickers out and my image fades...I know that I'm at home.

 That's what I see in my future.  It's out there and I'm headed towards it.  I don't know when or where, but I'm putting one tired foot in front of the other moving towards it.

Like Bilbo Baggins, we sometimes rush out the door without our handkerchiefs.  Thing is, the journey we are on may not give time for the comforts of a handkerchief.  Gandalf wisely replies to Bilbo's query on whether he can promise that Bilbo will make it home:

"No... and if you do, you will not be the same."

At first that is too much for Bilbo and he refuses to go.  But he knows that he must.  And he does.  And as soon as he leaves his door he begins to miss that which he was leaving behind.  It starts out as a point of weakness.  But in time his longing for home, allows him to become empathetic toward his companions lack of a home, and his goal is to help them get one.


Home is behind, the world is ahead...


grace, peace + hope (always hope)
-Jesse

89 - 'Cause Holy Cow, I Love Your Eyes

It's the penultimate song!

It has been quite a ride doing this series.  But it has been fun for me, and I hope you've come across some songs you might not have heard before.  If more came out of this, all the better!  I won't be posting on this particular title every day anymore.  But I'll try to get at least one a week of somesort here.  I've got two others that I write. 

One is a movie/comic book/music/whatever review called Critical Masses.  The other is a blog on discipleship at the oh so cleverly named M28 Discipleship Blog.  I'm not the only contributor there, but I do a lot of the heavy lifting.  There are links to them over---------------->here

under the title of "Go Here."

Enough self promotion...on to the music!

This song comes from, what I have to consider my favorite band, Elbow.  I have posted several of their songs on this list, and I could have posted a lot more.  You can click the HERE to read the first song post with them, and how I "discovered" their music.

Song 89        "One Day Like This" from Elbow and their album The Seldom Seen Kid

This song starts off with some beautiful strings and grows and develops from there into a big sweeping declaration of hope.  At least that's what it does for me.  And you should know by now what hope means to me.  If not, let's just say it is one of the forces that move me every day.  Not a specific hope, just pure unadulterated hope.  It might not always show...or be on my sleeve, but give me a moment and it'll come back to the surface.

'Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see the light
Yeah, lying with you half awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

It's easy to get caught in the rut of life.  The routine of everyday.  Waking up.  Going to work.  Probably a job you don't get excited about.  Or at least the excitement has gone.  Maybe your relationships are the same.  Stale.  Boring.  Tired.  But guess what.  A lot of that stuff is up to you.  At least how you see it.

If you see your life through a grimy window, and realize it's a dirty room covered in dust and cobwebs...well, guess who cleans it?  Yeah, you.  Take the advice of this song...

So throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year would see me right
Throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year would see me right

Think about that.  One day a year will set that guy right.  Wouldn't that be great!?  To have such an awesome day, that you're so charged and filled you make it 365 days.  I know that seems impossible, and maybe it is.  But I tell you what, you can make a choice every morning to not let the grime, dust, and cobwebs back in.

I don't mean that in some hippie-dippy way that you just need to have a positive outlook or anything like that.  Sure, stuff will come a long that is disappointing and frustrating.  Like not realizing your car has a switch for parking lights that stay on when the keys are removed, and you disconnect your battery cable for 3 weeks until you remember to google search your problem...realizing all you had to do was hit an oh-so-obvoius-it's hidden-button.  Or something serious like cancer.

You have a choice.  You can react slightly poorly like I did with my car.  Or with grace and dignity like I've seen people approach cancer.  I'm sure they have their moments of fear and breakdown..even if just inside.  But we choose how we move on.  We can let these things define us, or shape us.

It might seem subtle, but there is a difference.  Defining means that's the end.  There is this limited extent of who we are.  Or we can be shaped.  Moulded into something different, but similar.

Okay, I'm going to leave it at that.  I'm putting my soapbox away.

Go, listen to the music.  Enjoy.  And throw those curtains as wide as you can!!!  (Just be dressed!)

grace, peace + hope
-Jesse

81 - On and On We Sing

So here it is.  The final 10.

I'm sure I'm going to love whatever respect I might have...if any...with today's band.

Let me just say up front, it's not Nickelback.

The day is almost gone, so I won't take too long with this one.

Song 81
        "Stand Here with Me" from the album Weathered by Creed

Say what you will about Creed.  But they were pretty popular about 10 years ago.  Or so.  This song may not be the achievement of a career or anything, but there is something basic and pure in the lyrics that I love.

You always reached out to me and helped me believe
All those memories we share
I will cherish every one of them
The truth of it is there's a right way to live
And you showed me
So now you live on in the words of a song
You're a melody

Some memories of friends, and who then encouraged you to be can be brought back to your mind with the music and words of a song like this.  That's what this song does for me.  It reminds me of one of my best friends from high school.  She was a constant friend and encouragement.  Pushing me to become the best version of myself.

Thanks 'Jo.'

I'm still working on that.  Will be for the foreseeable future.

There have been other friends like that over the years too.  So, that's it.  This song makes me think of the friends who have been encouragement and challengers.  You all rock.

grace, peace + hope-Jesse