Never Enough
I can't even begin to think how to describe this trip to people. I've been home just over a week and I'm still reeling from the experience. At church and work people ask me how it was. And it's hard to answer. "Great." "Amazing." "Incredible," don't seem to do it justice. It was truly an experience you'd have to take for yourself to understand.
So while words and descriptions may not be enough...they can be something else. I can reach out with words and stories and convey some ideas or impressions of what the trip was like. To share that little piece of Africa that has grown in my heart like elephant.
Chrysalis
In the Western World, particularly the USA, we have wrapped ourselves in a cocoon of self-service and entertainment. Oh, we're connected to the outside world, in that we feed off their suffering to reassure ourselves that we're O.K. (Granted I'm speaking in broad strokes about our society and culture at large. I know there are many good people out there doing good things.)
It makes me think of my favorite line from Watchmen (graphic novel or movie.) Nite Owl and the Comedian are breaking up a mob of civilians in New York:
Nite Owl "...What's happened to America? What's happened to the American dream?"
The Comedian: It came true. You're lookin' at it.
I'll spare you from where my mind wants to go with this right now and relate it back to the trip. My point is that in America we don't fight for anything any more, we don't really work for it. (Again this is generalization, I know there are many people who work very hard every day) By that I mean we don't have to hack a living out of the wilderness. We can have everything delivered to our door, or the palm of our hand.
Proverbs 12:11 "He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment."
We've filled ourselves up with the fantasy of convenience. We're in a chrysalis of laziness and selfishness. And I am terrified of what we will become when that shell starts to crack open.
Bricks
I used to think so many things about who I was, what my goal in life was and on and on. But I've come to learn a few things about myself. Over the past 4-5 years I've been on a rediscovery of who I am. Where I belong in life, and most importantly who I am in Jesus. I know I've got a lot of problems and I'm far from perfect. I'm about as far from perfect as a snake is from the clouds. I knew going to Africa would be a major life changing event for me. But I had no idea how much, I'm still sorting through all of it.
That first day at Botshabelo we started work by learning to build. Anyone who knew me when I was younger know I loved Legos. I still do. If I had money to spend on toys I would most certainly be buying Legos to this day. I loved building the designed playset, learning how to fit pieces together then taking them apart and making my own design.
So getting to learn how to use real bricks to build something that could sustain more use than a Lego castle was exciting. We were to build a brick wall surrounding a sidewalk, and turn it into a giant sandbox. So that first day we learned how to scoop the mortar with a trowel, plop it on the ground, lay the brick, check levels, tap it, remove apply more mortar if needed, then lay it in. Then start over with the next brick.
There was something to holding that trowel in one hand, grabbing a massive grey brick with the other, and putting on the mortar that just felt...right. No job or work that I had ever done felt as whole and real as that. Brick by brick we built that wall. For half the time there I was able to help with the construction of that wall. Layer upon layer, mortar, brick, level, mortar, brick, level. A kind of rhythm set in, and the pit walls began to take shape.
Building this wall spoke something into my soul. I love to create things. I think that's why I love writing so much, and stories. Building this wall was a form of creation. It told a story of our labor as we worked to the final covering. So over the course of 11 days it transformed from a sidewalk, to a plastered wall, painted white with hand prints, names, and designs all over it. Where once nothing had been, a long sand box now rests, and is climbed in, jumped over, played in and filled with the sounds of laughing children.
And to know my hands, sweat and labor helped make that thing a reality...I've never known a comparable experience.
Grave
There is nothing in the world that compares to digging a grave by hand. I didn't know the people who died from Adam, but their passing will forever be a part of my life. Two people I had no knowledge of before I learned they were waiting to be buried. Their existence in my life started with learning of their deaths. It is a strange way to meet someone.
It was Tuesday the 20th of July. For us it was 12:30 PM. So here on CST it was 5:30 AM. The men of the village, including Raf, Steve and myself, started back from lunch up the long hike through the village across fields of tall, dry brown grass, to the charred fields and eventually arriving at the graveyard. The guys hung their jackets or shirts on a tree with massive thorns and set about the dimensions of the graves.
Then, with pick and shovel the digging started. We all took turns. Never have I as emotionally "off" about a physical task. To know we were digging a hole in the packed red soil of Africa to inter two people was surreal. I never anticipated that being a part of my life. It was so unusual, but so natural at the same time. It made sense in a way that I can't describe. At least not in this format.
One of the guys with us streamed dance tunes from his cell phone as we dug. Little by little we made our way down. Eventually the three of us headed back to the playground to go back to building. The other guys continued on digging until almost 8:30 that night. Apparently after we left the ground got "hard and rocky" and we were nearly halfway done when we left only 2 hours into digging. So they spent 6 hours digging about 3 feet in each grave.
The next day was the funeral. I won't go into a full description of it again, but once over, the graves were immediately filled and rimmed with big stones. The 8 hours of digging quickly filled with the casket, and red dirt. Red dirt mounds surrounded by stones and at the moment charred black earth. To have been a part of the final resting place for those two bodies, to have stood in their grave as it was being dug...it moment I will not lightly forget. I know that all that went in there was the bodies, and what made them who they were in life was long gone.
It was all simple, and to the point. No elaborate mausoleum and pricey headstone. No backhoe or machinery. Just men with shovels and picks, bent backs, and sweat. And I know that the people of Botshabelo will be back on that hill, with shovels, songs and prayers much sooner than we could hope. There, death is quite literally a part of life.
Level
If working on the sand pit wall was satisfying with each brick, creating the foundation of the kiddie-pool was utter frustration. This was my second task to focus on in Botshabelo. The sand pit was moving nicely, and other guys were working on finishing the construction while the ladies plastered it. A few of us started on the new pool.
We started out in a slightly sunken 'pit' on the edge of the playground. We set stakes in the four corners and tried to make them straight and 6 meters each side. Then we set to clearing the grass, and excess dirt to level the ground. Next we started with a row of bricks. We didn't have the foundation of the sidewalk to work off so we had to make it level, and 90* angles in the corners. KU (our friend from Ga-Rankuwa) worked tirelessly on digging and removing the soil, Christie would go before me and clear out loose earth and rocks and get the gap between the ground big enough for a brick. Then I came a long, placing the brick, leveling it, adjusting etc.
It was mentally exhausting. And it was slow going. So when the other team memembers finished plastering, or building a swing set, or whatever they were doing, the three of us could look at the pit and say, "we got 6 bricks level." It was tedious and slow going. I had a lot of time to think and examine things.
Sitting in that pit, moving a brick into place then checking the level was not hard work physically. But it tolled on my mind. I'd wait and watch as the little greenish-yellow liquid and bubble would bounce around before settling into place just a pen's width away from center, and then remove the brick. Add some loose soil, replace the brick, check level, tap the right spot to flatten the new earth, and...almost level. Repeat. Repeat. Clear away some earth cause there was too much..repeat, level, repeat.
At last the brick was in place! Shuffle my seat over that red dirt, and start on the next brick...repeat, repeat, repeat.
Tedious. But necessary. Anyone who knows anything about building, or drafting, or co-ordinates etc will tell you that a little bit off here, means a huge way off at the other end. And Con made sure we were aware of that concept, even on the sand pit construction.
It's a lot like life.
We set everything in place, and it looks level...but something is just a little off. And if we're not careful we don't see it until we reach the end of that line and realize we are nowhere near where we expected to be.
Choices we make, exceptions, lapses in judgment...indulging into that moment of complete selfishness...pushes us a little farther off the line. If we are out of level enough at the beginning we may not even recognize ourselves at the other end.
Matthew 7:13-14 says this, "13 Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14 For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."
I think God has a plan for all of us that He wants us to choose to be on. He won't force us to it. It's a choice we make. A path we have to walk ourselves. We may have help from time time, or others accompanying us in different periods in our lives, but it is our walk with Him. And it's so easy, so very easy, to divert from that path.
Just like it was easy to say a brick was "close enough" to level. It didn't cut it. I'd say that out loud, and move onto the next brick, and then something was off. So I'd go back to the previous brick and correct the "close enough," before returning to where I thought I should be.
I don't want to be like that in life. I don't want to have too much dirt under me to make me go over the level line. To be so full of stuff, things that aren't necessary that I'm bloated with life and can't be used properly.
Or to not have enough in my life. To be so restrictive to what I don't rise to the line that I'm supposed to be at. To fall short. I'm not into that whole concept of universal balance or yin/yang and that sort of thing. I do believe we can fill our lives with too much stuff, too much distraction, and not see what we should. Or the opposite where we don't learn enough, we don't seek enough and come up unable to reach the goal.
I also believe that with out God, Jesus, that it doesn't matter how perfect a life I live, I'll never be enough on my own. And the more I think about it, I don't want to be enough on my own.
Leaving a Piece Behind
I know I've left a piece of my heart in South Africa. The days, the work, the events we participated in, sliced off a piece and left it in the red dirt of the kiddie-pool, the mortar of the sand pit, the silence of the graveyard, the fur of the dogs and the laughter of the kids.
Not my heart.
I see now that it wasn't really "me" that I left behind. Though I think I will long to go back all the days of my life. But it's a piece of the heart of God. Regardless of what you believe, it was God who called me to go on this trip. If He had not, I personally, wouldn't have had a reason to go. I would have been none the wiser of my chrysalis, had I stayed home. I'd have spent the two weeks visiting with friends, watching movies, going to church and thinking I was an ok guy, living a good life, doing the best I could.
But I've seen something now.
I've been blessed with the opportunity of traveling to Africa. To see the hills around Botshabelo. To hear the laughter and cries of the children. To see Marion and her family going to and fro in the village checking on everyone and everything. I've seen the sun rise and set on a different continent. I've breathed in the air of Africa, listened to the songs of a funeral, hear the drums of the Zulu in the mountains. I've locked eyes with a lion and was terrified and amazed in the same instant.
I pray more than leaving a piece of my heart, the love that God gives to me, that I could bring Africa back with me. To carry a piece of that place in my heart. To retain what I learned and experienced, and to know that I am forever changed, not because something left me, but because something was added to me. The Township, the Village, the Mountains, the animals, and the People have all given something to me.
I pray that I will honor that, and live a better life than I did before I went. To open my eyes when I think I see. To open my ears when I think I've heard it all. To talk less, and participate more. To see the world around me not as my home, but where I'm blessed to be in that moment.
So there it is, my first real reflection over the trip. It's not everything. But it's where I'm at now. I'd love to see where tomorrow takes me, but I'm here today, and today will be enough for me.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Dirty Socks, Granola Bars, and a Dog named King...
So here I am. 3 weeks later, almost to the hour, when we left for South Africa. I'm not the same person. I may have only spent 14 days in the continent, but those 14 days have forever changed my life.
The trip there was exhausting and uncomfortable. But that didn't matter. I was going to Africa. Many reading this who know me, understand that is something I've wanted to do since I was about 15. The adrenaline was pounding through me like a freight train. When the plane finally landed and we disembarked, Jen looked at me and said, "Jesse, you're in Africa!" A phrase that would be repeated many times on the trip.
After all the airport hullabaloo, we headed out to our vehicles and I got my first deep breath of African air. It didn't have a smell that I was led to believe it had. If anything it felt alive with hope and posibilities. The fact that it was winter there wasn't lost on me. I loved it. Knowing I would be working in temps over 100 F was comforting. But it was chilly, and there was an energy an expectation with every breeze.
First Impressions
We arrived at our host homes a few hours later. It was a blitzkrieg of names, smiling faces, unfamiliar hand shakes and lots of laughter and familiar greetings for those who were not a newbie like myself. We settled in and got some good shut-eye.
4:30 AM – some harebrained rooster is declaring dawn. The sun wouldn't come up for at least another 2 hours. Eventually getting up and realizing, I'm in Africa!, I got ready and headed out side. The guys from our team, and the guys in Ga-Rankuwa (a township of Pretoria) were starting a match of football. So of course I joined in. It wasn't long before the thin air (slightly over Denver elevation) and my lack of physical fitness had me hacking up one of my lungs. But it was fun. Some of the girls eventually joined in before we set to the business of the day.
We sorted all our supplies and things for the days to come, then headed to the shopping complex. It was a small, mall-like place with a big grocery store, a chemist, some clothing stores, furniture stores, eateries, etc. We later went to Charlene's Place of Safety, which I didn't quite understand exactly what it's goal was, but Louisa and her team help children who are physically disabled through personal care and education. She has an amazing story, and could warrant an entry blog or several on her own.
Botshabelo
The next day we headed to Botshabelo in Magaliesburg. It was about a 90 minute drive from Zone 7 in Ga-Rankuwa where we stayed to Botshabelo. I believe Botshabelo means "place of refuge." And I would come to learn over the next 2 weeks that it really was. For the people living there, and myself.
Being winter, the landscape looks like something from a dry wild west movie. And pulling off the road onto their drive way (a bumpy, packed red dirt road) we saw the village and residences for the first time. It was exactly what I expected from the documentary (Angles in the Dust – available on NetFlix) and previous trip photos I had seen. But I couldn't have anticipated the reality of it.
With in moments of arriving the kids were everywhere. We had a quick introduction session with Marion, then settled into our "HQ." Then we were out with the kids, who wasted no time in starting some singing and dance games and pulling all of the team into them. Soon after that most of the girls were sitting on the dry grass having their hair braided. One thing I couldn't overlook was how happy the kids were. Smiles, laughter and joy everywhere. Also everywhere were the dogs. One particular stood out, a great behemoth of a creature that looked like a species that modern dogs had descended from. His name was Horatio, and I later learned he was a Great Dane. But he still looked primeval. If I were to sit cross-legged on the ground, and he stood next to me, he would have easily cleared my head by a hands breadth or 3.
We soon were taken to the area we would be spending most of our time in. The play ground. It was mainly an open area amongst some trees that had a few rusty jungle gyms and a dilapidated wooden play fort. It looked like something out of Dr. Seuss, only with out the fun bits. The first task was to turn the path (concrete sidewalk) into a sand-pit for the kids to play in.
This took the better part of the first week to construct. We got a hands-on crash course in building (aka brick laying) and leveling etc. And we just got started. The guys worked on this, while the girls were recruited to line out the eventual fencing, and start digging post holes. As evening approached and the sun started to fade, we packed up the tools and made way to the volleyball court. At Botshabelo that is how the adults unwind at the end of each day. And as I'm typing this, they are probably finishing up the games for the day now. We would play until we couldn't see the ball anymore, and perhaps just a bit longer. It was a great first day in the village.
Another 90 minute drive home, then dinner, group discussion, and rest. The next day started all over again.
And when I took my shoes off at the end of the day, my brilliant white, brand new socks were as red as the dirt we were working on.
And that is how the week progressed in general. Up early, eat, drive, work, eat, work, play, drive, discuss, rest. But there was so much between each action. The kids would come out during school breaks and help, or play. I know I got to have many great conversations with Con. The kids were amazing. Sometimes sitting and just watching. Other times helping, then being a welcome distraction from the building, or digging or painting that was to follow.
Every day we all worked hard, with out complaint, and till the last minute we could. We would welcome lunch when it came, 30-45 mins of rest eating PB&J, chips, some fruit, and probably a granola bar. Those became a staple for me everyday, granola bars, apples, and the amazing water. Their water out of the tap, or hose faucet was better than anything I drink here in Illinois. Even better than bottled spring water. It reminded me of the well water from home in PA.
So that was the "basics" of a day.
The dogs would also lie about all day as we worked. Some just snoozing away in the sun. Others looking for a belly rub or an ear scratched. In the first few days another dog, King, became a close companion. He followed us on our lunch break, and to the van at night. Like a silent guardian he was usually right near by.
Funeral
The first Tuesday of the trip, Steve, Raf, and I were invited to join the men of the village in digging some grave in the cemetery on the far side of the property. It was chilling to walk out under the noon sun up through the village into the hills across fire scorched fields to come to the graveyard. It wasn't the organized, manicured green lawns we're used to in America. Nor was the digging like home. We had about half a dozen spades and a few picks to excavate the six foot holes.
We were digging two graves. A man and woman. One died about 30 days before our arrival, the other about 20. BGC was able to pay for their release from the mortuary and allow the burial to occur.
So there were were, under the Africa sun, digging graves. Something I never thought I'd do in my life. For me, it was surreal and haunting. For the Africans, it was sad, but far to common. The men streamed music through a cell phone as we dug. First picking the soil, then others shoveling it out. Pick, shovel, pick, shovel. We only stayed about 2 hours. The men finished at about half past 8 that night.
We were to have a vigil that evening after working, but the bodies hadn't arrived yet. So we continued on with the volleyball until dark.
The next morning started with the funeral and it lasted until lunch time. We went to the homes of each of the deceased where songs, and dancing occurred and a message from one of the pastors (I believe she was also the grade 4 teacher.) Then we followed the procession though the village, up the hill, across the burnt fields to the charred graveyard for the burial. Another sermon was given that I couldn't understand. I stood taking photos or video, just taking it all in. Once done, the graves were quickly filled and mounded and surrounded with large stones. We proceeded in relative silence back to the village to wash our hands in aloe water, to remove the dead from us.
After a somber lunch with the team, we went back to work.
Drakensberg
The Dragon Mountains. A mountain range in Kwa-Zulu Natal. Homeland of the Zulu people and background for many battles in the tumultuous history of South Africa. This is where we went on Thursday. We loaded up 14 people in a 10 passenger van, and drove about 5.5 hours West/South West. Foggy and cloudy most of the way, the veil broke as we got near the mountains, and we were able to see them in their glory on the drive up. We saw baboons along the road, just doing their baboon thing. Everyone seemed quite excited at the wildlife in that moment. We even stopped to help push a truck up the road.
Here, in Bergville (Berg – Mountain) is a World Vision office. Jen and Ang (our team leaders) sponsor a boy, and Christie (another team member) sponsors a girl. We drove from Bergville to Okhahlamba (as far as I understand it, Okhahlamba is kind of like a county to us) to the shcool in which Sphe (Jen and Ang's sponsor child)attends. We passed out goodie bags to the students. We also go to see some traditional Zulu dances when school let out. It was thrilling to say the least. To hear that drum in mass back in the days when the Zulu's would do those dances before going to war would have been chilling. Just one drum gave me goose bumps.
After only a short stay we made our way back down the mountains. We stopped at a Western US themed restaurant for dinner where they featured Rib and Prawn, or Baboon Backside as an entree.
Askari
The game drive will stand out for me as a special event. It was on Sunday after a morning in the market and shops (which I would advise, save your money for the airport gift shops! You won't get pressured there, and can take your time and actually look at what you're buying.) Don't go in alone, and stick with your buddy. But it was a fun cultural experience. We had a great lunch of pizza in a kind of touristy spot next to the market.
But the game drive that afternoon was spectacular. We loaded up into a big open sided truck, almost like a converted military type vehicle and drove through the fields and hills. First we stopped in the lion's area. Here we eventually found 3 lionesses basking in the near evening sun. Just before we left, one locked eyes with me and followed my every move. Apparently one was doing the same to our guide, which he said meant it was time to go. I felt a genuine thrill of excitement and fear when her golden eyes locked with mine. I could have stayed in that moment forever, or at least until she decided it was time to eat. Me.
The rest of the drive was also exciting but that moment with the lion will stay with me for a very long time. We saw Rhinos (so close the driver had to clear the air brakes to chase them away from the truck) Buffalo, a giraffe, different herd animals, some hippos, a croc and eventually...as a special treat (as it was late and they were in their stable) we got to see the elephants. That was also an incredible moment. Walking into their stable, and having to press up against the wall so they wouldn't try to find food on us was so amazing. Seeing them right there 10 feet away. Huge! and only half their full size at the time. Another moment that won't be leaving me soon.
Nigh
The end was approaching as we only had 3 work days left at Botshabelo. We finished the sand pit, plastered it, filled it with sand, and painted it. The chain link fence went around the entire area, 5 new wooden swing sets were erected, the rusty jungle gyms were sanded and painted, the Dr. Seuss play fort was shored up, and painted, a balance beam, and tire monkey bars were put in also. A kiddie pool was started, but between lack of supplies and time it wasn't finished (and I anticipate seeing photos of it finished, cause I spent half my time in pit leveling the foundation brick with Christie, and KU.)
I was feeling kind of sick that day, so I missed a lot of the work. Con took me to the doctor and I got another round of conversations in with him. Also had a long talk with Marion and Leigh doing the Pin Code. Which was quite an interesting experience.
As the Sun passed it's climax, we finished up the last day of work and just played with the kids. There was face painting, nail polish, balloon animals, beads and the like going on, along with the standard volley ball. Con told us we did a good job, but the true complements came from the laughter and shouts of joy as the kids used the swings, played, and enjoyed the new play ground.
Darkness fell, a bonfire started and we began not our good-byes, but see you laters. I think every one on the trip intends on going back. Maybe not next year, but I'm sure we'll all return to Botshabelo at some point. As a group or individually.
Leave Taking
Leaving was hard. The people, the kids, even the dogs and sheep (who got out everyday and several times I got the chance to herd them back to their kraal,) were hare do to leave. Especially Horatio and King. King even tried to get into the van as we closed the door for the last time. I'll miss that guy. Along with everyone and everything else.
The next morning we packed up, loaded up and said so-long to our host-families. It was bittersweet. To have been so welcomed and loved with out question was heartwarming, and to leave it was heartbreaking. We swung by Charlene's Place to see Louisa and the kids one last time before making our way back to Joburg and the airport.
Sadness, confusion, joy, uncertainty, hope among many other flavors of life and human emotion swept over me as we made our way through the bustle of the airport, the shops and gate area. It continued on in the flight, the wait for the canceled flight in DC, the final hop from DC to Chicago and the bus ride to Minooka.
Return
Driving back to Theodore Crossing with Steve, I felt as if I was in some dream. That this life I left here in the US was some false reality I was waking back up to. I realized then that the dirty socks, granola bars, and a dog named King were now intertwined in my life. That with out them, and Botshabelo, the Cloetes, the kids, Bebo, Aniki, KU, Scramble, and all the rest...I would be less of a person. They had all gotten under my skin and become part of me in a sense.
And a portion of my heart will always be in South Africa.
I'm learning to live without out it while I'm not there. It has been a lot more difficult coming home than I could have imagined. Not the jet lag or any thing like that, but the emotional hurricane that has been raging in my head and heart for near on 5 days now. It's slowing down a little bit but there is still much to ponder and pray over.
This post is by no means all inclusive. There is so much more to say, and feel. But I would be naive to think I could convey that in a blog or even one conversation.
Ke a leboga (Tswana for "Thank you")
Friends and Family - to all of you who supported myself, and the team with finances and prayers, thank you!
Ga-Rankuawa – Zone 7 peps, what can I say, your hospitality and friendship will remain in my heart for many years to come. I will see you again! Until then, keep the beats flowing, don't let the fire on the roof go out, and keep surviving!
Botshabelo – Marion, Con, Leigh, Nicole, Shanna, Lefe, Lucas, David, Michelle, Alex, and all the kids, Horatio, King and all the Dogs, Sue, Tim and everyone else in the village, thank you. I can only hope what we were able to build lasts as long as what you have given our hearts and spirits. You are all amazing people, and that is hardly enough to say about you!
BGC Team 2010 – Tania, Mel, Raf, Steve, Jess, Maria, Ang, Patsy, Kristin, and Christie, thank you for putting up with my many failed attempts at humor, the cameras being in your face, and just being such an awesome group of people to have shared this experience with. You, like all the folks in South Africa have made an impact on my life.
Jen and Ang – thank you for being great leaders and teachers on this trip. Your example for starting BGC, and all that you do is a great inspiration!
Jesus – not to sound like an award show, but honestly, if I didn't have Jesus in my life, I never would have had a desire to go to Africa, I never would have met Jen and Ang, and I wouldn't be writing any of this right now. Thank you for your life, death, forgiveness, resurrection and simply everything...even the dirty socks, granola bars, and a dog named King.
The trip there was exhausting and uncomfortable. But that didn't matter. I was going to Africa. Many reading this who know me, understand that is something I've wanted to do since I was about 15. The adrenaline was pounding through me like a freight train. When the plane finally landed and we disembarked, Jen looked at me and said, "Jesse, you're in Africa!" A phrase that would be repeated many times on the trip.
After all the airport hullabaloo, we headed out to our vehicles and I got my first deep breath of African air. It didn't have a smell that I was led to believe it had. If anything it felt alive with hope and posibilities. The fact that it was winter there wasn't lost on me. I loved it. Knowing I would be working in temps over 100 F was comforting. But it was chilly, and there was an energy an expectation with every breeze.
First Impressions
We arrived at our host homes a few hours later. It was a blitzkrieg of names, smiling faces, unfamiliar hand shakes and lots of laughter and familiar greetings for those who were not a newbie like myself. We settled in and got some good shut-eye.
4:30 AM – some harebrained rooster is declaring dawn. The sun wouldn't come up for at least another 2 hours. Eventually getting up and realizing, I'm in Africa!, I got ready and headed out side. The guys from our team, and the guys in Ga-Rankuwa (a township of Pretoria) were starting a match of football. So of course I joined in. It wasn't long before the thin air (slightly over Denver elevation) and my lack of physical fitness had me hacking up one of my lungs. But it was fun. Some of the girls eventually joined in before we set to the business of the day.
We sorted all our supplies and things for the days to come, then headed to the shopping complex. It was a small, mall-like place with a big grocery store, a chemist, some clothing stores, furniture stores, eateries, etc. We later went to Charlene's Place of Safety, which I didn't quite understand exactly what it's goal was, but Louisa and her team help children who are physically disabled through personal care and education. She has an amazing story, and could warrant an entry blog or several on her own.
Botshabelo
The next day we headed to Botshabelo in Magaliesburg. It was about a 90 minute drive from Zone 7 in Ga-Rankuwa where we stayed to Botshabelo. I believe Botshabelo means "place of refuge." And I would come to learn over the next 2 weeks that it really was. For the people living there, and myself.
Being winter, the landscape looks like something from a dry wild west movie. And pulling off the road onto their drive way (a bumpy, packed red dirt road) we saw the village and residences for the first time. It was exactly what I expected from the documentary (Angles in the Dust – available on NetFlix) and previous trip photos I had seen. But I couldn't have anticipated the reality of it.
With in moments of arriving the kids were everywhere. We had a quick introduction session with Marion, then settled into our "HQ." Then we were out with the kids, who wasted no time in starting some singing and dance games and pulling all of the team into them. Soon after that most of the girls were sitting on the dry grass having their hair braided. One thing I couldn't overlook was how happy the kids were. Smiles, laughter and joy everywhere. Also everywhere were the dogs. One particular stood out, a great behemoth of a creature that looked like a species that modern dogs had descended from. His name was Horatio, and I later learned he was a Great Dane. But he still looked primeval. If I were to sit cross-legged on the ground, and he stood next to me, he would have easily cleared my head by a hands breadth or 3.
We soon were taken to the area we would be spending most of our time in. The play ground. It was mainly an open area amongst some trees that had a few rusty jungle gyms and a dilapidated wooden play fort. It looked like something out of Dr. Seuss, only with out the fun bits. The first task was to turn the path (concrete sidewalk) into a sand-pit for the kids to play in.
This took the better part of the first week to construct. We got a hands-on crash course in building (aka brick laying) and leveling etc. And we just got started. The guys worked on this, while the girls were recruited to line out the eventual fencing, and start digging post holes. As evening approached and the sun started to fade, we packed up the tools and made way to the volleyball court. At Botshabelo that is how the adults unwind at the end of each day. And as I'm typing this, they are probably finishing up the games for the day now. We would play until we couldn't see the ball anymore, and perhaps just a bit longer. It was a great first day in the village.
Another 90 minute drive home, then dinner, group discussion, and rest. The next day started all over again.
And when I took my shoes off at the end of the day, my brilliant white, brand new socks were as red as the dirt we were working on.
And that is how the week progressed in general. Up early, eat, drive, work, eat, work, play, drive, discuss, rest. But there was so much between each action. The kids would come out during school breaks and help, or play. I know I got to have many great conversations with Con. The kids were amazing. Sometimes sitting and just watching. Other times helping, then being a welcome distraction from the building, or digging or painting that was to follow.
Every day we all worked hard, with out complaint, and till the last minute we could. We would welcome lunch when it came, 30-45 mins of rest eating PB&J, chips, some fruit, and probably a granola bar. Those became a staple for me everyday, granola bars, apples, and the amazing water. Their water out of the tap, or hose faucet was better than anything I drink here in Illinois. Even better than bottled spring water. It reminded me of the well water from home in PA.
So that was the "basics" of a day.
The dogs would also lie about all day as we worked. Some just snoozing away in the sun. Others looking for a belly rub or an ear scratched. In the first few days another dog, King, became a close companion. He followed us on our lunch break, and to the van at night. Like a silent guardian he was usually right near by.
Funeral
The first Tuesday of the trip, Steve, Raf, and I were invited to join the men of the village in digging some grave in the cemetery on the far side of the property. It was chilling to walk out under the noon sun up through the village into the hills across fire scorched fields to come to the graveyard. It wasn't the organized, manicured green lawns we're used to in America. Nor was the digging like home. We had about half a dozen spades and a few picks to excavate the six foot holes.
We were digging two graves. A man and woman. One died about 30 days before our arrival, the other about 20. BGC was able to pay for their release from the mortuary and allow the burial to occur.
So there were were, under the Africa sun, digging graves. Something I never thought I'd do in my life. For me, it was surreal and haunting. For the Africans, it was sad, but far to common. The men streamed music through a cell phone as we dug. First picking the soil, then others shoveling it out. Pick, shovel, pick, shovel. We only stayed about 2 hours. The men finished at about half past 8 that night.
We were to have a vigil that evening after working, but the bodies hadn't arrived yet. So we continued on with the volleyball until dark.
The next morning started with the funeral and it lasted until lunch time. We went to the homes of each of the deceased where songs, and dancing occurred and a message from one of the pastors (I believe she was also the grade 4 teacher.) Then we followed the procession though the village, up the hill, across the burnt fields to the charred graveyard for the burial. Another sermon was given that I couldn't understand. I stood taking photos or video, just taking it all in. Once done, the graves were quickly filled and mounded and surrounded with large stones. We proceeded in relative silence back to the village to wash our hands in aloe water, to remove the dead from us.
After a somber lunch with the team, we went back to work.
Drakensberg
The Dragon Mountains. A mountain range in Kwa-Zulu Natal. Homeland of the Zulu people and background for many battles in the tumultuous history of South Africa. This is where we went on Thursday. We loaded up 14 people in a 10 passenger van, and drove about 5.5 hours West/South West. Foggy and cloudy most of the way, the veil broke as we got near the mountains, and we were able to see them in their glory on the drive up. We saw baboons along the road, just doing their baboon thing. Everyone seemed quite excited at the wildlife in that moment. We even stopped to help push a truck up the road.
Here, in Bergville (Berg – Mountain) is a World Vision office. Jen and Ang (our team leaders) sponsor a boy, and Christie (another team member) sponsors a girl. We drove from Bergville to Okhahlamba (as far as I understand it, Okhahlamba is kind of like a county to us) to the shcool in which Sphe (Jen and Ang's sponsor child)attends. We passed out goodie bags to the students. We also go to see some traditional Zulu dances when school let out. It was thrilling to say the least. To hear that drum in mass back in the days when the Zulu's would do those dances before going to war would have been chilling. Just one drum gave me goose bumps.
After only a short stay we made our way back down the mountains. We stopped at a Western US themed restaurant for dinner where they featured Rib and Prawn, or Baboon Backside as an entree.
Askari
The game drive will stand out for me as a special event. It was on Sunday after a morning in the market and shops (which I would advise, save your money for the airport gift shops! You won't get pressured there, and can take your time and actually look at what you're buying.) Don't go in alone, and stick with your buddy. But it was a fun cultural experience. We had a great lunch of pizza in a kind of touristy spot next to the market.
But the game drive that afternoon was spectacular. We loaded up into a big open sided truck, almost like a converted military type vehicle and drove through the fields and hills. First we stopped in the lion's area. Here we eventually found 3 lionesses basking in the near evening sun. Just before we left, one locked eyes with me and followed my every move. Apparently one was doing the same to our guide, which he said meant it was time to go. I felt a genuine thrill of excitement and fear when her golden eyes locked with mine. I could have stayed in that moment forever, or at least until she decided it was time to eat. Me.
The rest of the drive was also exciting but that moment with the lion will stay with me for a very long time. We saw Rhinos (so close the driver had to clear the air brakes to chase them away from the truck) Buffalo, a giraffe, different herd animals, some hippos, a croc and eventually...as a special treat (as it was late and they were in their stable) we got to see the elephants. That was also an incredible moment. Walking into their stable, and having to press up against the wall so they wouldn't try to find food on us was so amazing. Seeing them right there 10 feet away. Huge! and only half their full size at the time. Another moment that won't be leaving me soon.
Nigh
The end was approaching as we only had 3 work days left at Botshabelo. We finished the sand pit, plastered it, filled it with sand, and painted it. The chain link fence went around the entire area, 5 new wooden swing sets were erected, the rusty jungle gyms were sanded and painted, the Dr. Seuss play fort was shored up, and painted, a balance beam, and tire monkey bars were put in also. A kiddie pool was started, but between lack of supplies and time it wasn't finished (and I anticipate seeing photos of it finished, cause I spent half my time in pit leveling the foundation brick with Christie, and KU.)
I was feeling kind of sick that day, so I missed a lot of the work. Con took me to the doctor and I got another round of conversations in with him. Also had a long talk with Marion and Leigh doing the Pin Code. Which was quite an interesting experience.
As the Sun passed it's climax, we finished up the last day of work and just played with the kids. There was face painting, nail polish, balloon animals, beads and the like going on, along with the standard volley ball. Con told us we did a good job, but the true complements came from the laughter and shouts of joy as the kids used the swings, played, and enjoyed the new play ground.
Darkness fell, a bonfire started and we began not our good-byes, but see you laters. I think every one on the trip intends on going back. Maybe not next year, but I'm sure we'll all return to Botshabelo at some point. As a group or individually.
Leave Taking
Leaving was hard. The people, the kids, even the dogs and sheep (who got out everyday and several times I got the chance to herd them back to their kraal,) were hare do to leave. Especially Horatio and King. King even tried to get into the van as we closed the door for the last time. I'll miss that guy. Along with everyone and everything else.
The next morning we packed up, loaded up and said so-long to our host-families. It was bittersweet. To have been so welcomed and loved with out question was heartwarming, and to leave it was heartbreaking. We swung by Charlene's Place to see Louisa and the kids one last time before making our way back to Joburg and the airport.
Sadness, confusion, joy, uncertainty, hope among many other flavors of life and human emotion swept over me as we made our way through the bustle of the airport, the shops and gate area. It continued on in the flight, the wait for the canceled flight in DC, the final hop from DC to Chicago and the bus ride to Minooka.
Return
Driving back to Theodore Crossing with Steve, I felt as if I was in some dream. That this life I left here in the US was some false reality I was waking back up to. I realized then that the dirty socks, granola bars, and a dog named King were now intertwined in my life. That with out them, and Botshabelo, the Cloetes, the kids, Bebo, Aniki, KU, Scramble, and all the rest...I would be less of a person. They had all gotten under my skin and become part of me in a sense.
And a portion of my heart will always be in South Africa.
I'm learning to live without out it while I'm not there. It has been a lot more difficult coming home than I could have imagined. Not the jet lag or any thing like that, but the emotional hurricane that has been raging in my head and heart for near on 5 days now. It's slowing down a little bit but there is still much to ponder and pray over.
This post is by no means all inclusive. There is so much more to say, and feel. But I would be naive to think I could convey that in a blog or even one conversation.
Ke a leboga (Tswana for "Thank you")
Friends and Family - to all of you who supported myself, and the team with finances and prayers, thank you!
Ga-Rankuawa – Zone 7 peps, what can I say, your hospitality and friendship will remain in my heart for many years to come. I will see you again! Until then, keep the beats flowing, don't let the fire on the roof go out, and keep surviving!
Botshabelo – Marion, Con, Leigh, Nicole, Shanna, Lefe, Lucas, David, Michelle, Alex, and all the kids, Horatio, King and all the Dogs, Sue, Tim and everyone else in the village, thank you. I can only hope what we were able to build lasts as long as what you have given our hearts and spirits. You are all amazing people, and that is hardly enough to say about you!
BGC Team 2010 – Tania, Mel, Raf, Steve, Jess, Maria, Ang, Patsy, Kristin, and Christie, thank you for putting up with my many failed attempts at humor, the cameras being in your face, and just being such an awesome group of people to have shared this experience with. You, like all the folks in South Africa have made an impact on my life.
Jen and Ang – thank you for being great leaders and teachers on this trip. Your example for starting BGC, and all that you do is a great inspiration!
Jesus – not to sound like an award show, but honestly, if I didn't have Jesus in my life, I never would have had a desire to go to Africa, I never would have met Jen and Ang, and I wouldn't be writing any of this right now. Thank you for your life, death, forgiveness, resurrection and simply everything...even the dirty socks, granola bars, and a dog named King.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Broken & Lost
Six years ago I was a different person.
I was broken.
I was with out direction.
I was lost.
In the Fall of 2004 I began two journeys. One for entertainment, the other of desperation.
A relationship that was bad from, "Hello," came to an end. An end I wanted, but was not strong, or willing enough to make happen.
So I cried out to God.
He heard me.
The relationship ended. So I began my journey back to God, rather, who he wanted me to be. I had taken many selfish roads away from who I thought I was, and what I was to be. Only to return broken and useless. But nothing is irreversible.
The other journey was with the characters of a show called Lost.
A story about broken, directionless people.
People who were lost.
It wasn't until tonight, after watching the series finale, that I saw the shows' parallel with my own journey.
The finale, to me, was about faith and fulfilling a purpose, and letting go. A purpose you may never have sought for yourself. A purpose of helping others. Watching how these characters have struggled for and against faith, and fate or destiny...only to have their eyes open in the end, and submit to the truth.
Six years ago I was doing everything wrong.
I struggled and fought.
But God is a patient and merciful teacher.
He corrects and disciplines those he loves. And I've been getting a lot of both. Watching the finale of Lost tonight, caused me to look back at the show, and in turn, my own life since 2004.
I was in a solid but dead end job. No motivation. No purpose. I simply existed. My dreams were gone, or hollow compared to what they once were. I had virtually exiled myself from friends and family.
And God.
I was selfish and unwhole.
But God was always there. I had just gotten good at ignoring him.
That changed, just as surely as Summer was changing into Autumn.
I changed.
Slowly, over the past 6 years, and I'll keep growing and changing until the day I die. We never run out of time or opportunities to grow and change. We can ignore them, or let them pass, but they are always there. We can, until we die.
And I'm not dead yet.
God has moved me, spiritually, physically...completely.
I'm here on the precipice of a dream, a calling that began 15 years ago. Africa.
I sidetracked myself for a goodly while. Chasing after one desire or another. Serving only myself. Yet God put me back on track. I've been allowed to discover, or have been given new talents and abilities. And opportunity after opportunity to grow.
I've messed up on them sometimes, a lot of times, but God was, is, and will always be here to guide me.
Sitting here, writing this I realize I'm coming to a finale of sorts. It's not here yet, but it's coming. What it is, I don't rightly know. It's a mystery. Many mysteries.
I do know that change is coming.
Movies reach the credits, a book eventually comes to the back cover, and periods of life come to an end. And in ending, present new beginnings.
Moving, changing, growing...it's a part of life. They are defining qualities of life.
And I am so ready for it!
I pray I can keep up, and that I will see beyond my own needs, my growth, my story. That I can be useful, and have a purpose besides consuming and existing. That I might live out God's purpose for me.
Jesus, you are my constant. When I am confused, tempted, lost...let me open my heart and see you, and know where I belong. Though I deserve nothing, save to be called your enemy, your Grace has changed all that.
You call me child, friend, Jesse. I pray I will be forever thankful.
Father, increase in my life for your glory. Decrease me, to your honor.
Jesus I love you, my words don't convey the depth and scope of how you have changed me, or what you mean to me.
But I thank you.
When the world is in chaos, let me hear your voice.
When it is still, let me know your presence.
Use me, when, where, and however you will.
Be glorified in my life, so that it may be Your life.
Amen.
(journal entry May 23rd 2010)
I was broken.
I was with out direction.
I was lost.
In the Fall of 2004 I began two journeys. One for entertainment, the other of desperation.
A relationship that was bad from, "Hello," came to an end. An end I wanted, but was not strong, or willing enough to make happen.
So I cried out to God.
He heard me.
The relationship ended. So I began my journey back to God, rather, who he wanted me to be. I had taken many selfish roads away from who I thought I was, and what I was to be. Only to return broken and useless. But nothing is irreversible.
The other journey was with the characters of a show called Lost.
A story about broken, directionless people.
People who were lost.
It wasn't until tonight, after watching the series finale, that I saw the shows' parallel with my own journey.
The finale, to me, was about faith and fulfilling a purpose, and letting go. A purpose you may never have sought for yourself. A purpose of helping others. Watching how these characters have struggled for and against faith, and fate or destiny...only to have their eyes open in the end, and submit to the truth.
Six years ago I was doing everything wrong.
I struggled and fought.
But God is a patient and merciful teacher.
He corrects and disciplines those he loves. And I've been getting a lot of both. Watching the finale of Lost tonight, caused me to look back at the show, and in turn, my own life since 2004.
I was in a solid but dead end job. No motivation. No purpose. I simply existed. My dreams were gone, or hollow compared to what they once were. I had virtually exiled myself from friends and family.
And God.
I was selfish and unwhole.
But God was always there. I had just gotten good at ignoring him.
That changed, just as surely as Summer was changing into Autumn.
I changed.
Slowly, over the past 6 years, and I'll keep growing and changing until the day I die. We never run out of time or opportunities to grow and change. We can ignore them, or let them pass, but they are always there. We can, until we die.
And I'm not dead yet.
God has moved me, spiritually, physically...completely.
I'm here on the precipice of a dream, a calling that began 15 years ago. Africa.
I sidetracked myself for a goodly while. Chasing after one desire or another. Serving only myself. Yet God put me back on track. I've been allowed to discover, or have been given new talents and abilities. And opportunity after opportunity to grow.
I've messed up on them sometimes, a lot of times, but God was, is, and will always be here to guide me.
Sitting here, writing this I realize I'm coming to a finale of sorts. It's not here yet, but it's coming. What it is, I don't rightly know. It's a mystery. Many mysteries.
I do know that change is coming.
Movies reach the credits, a book eventually comes to the back cover, and periods of life come to an end. And in ending, present new beginnings.
Moving, changing, growing...it's a part of life. They are defining qualities of life.
And I am so ready for it!
I pray I can keep up, and that I will see beyond my own needs, my growth, my story. That I can be useful, and have a purpose besides consuming and existing. That I might live out God's purpose for me.
Jesus, you are my constant. When I am confused, tempted, lost...let me open my heart and see you, and know where I belong. Though I deserve nothing, save to be called your enemy, your Grace has changed all that.
You call me child, friend, Jesse. I pray I will be forever thankful.
Father, increase in my life for your glory. Decrease me, to your honor.
Jesus I love you, my words don't convey the depth and scope of how you have changed me, or what you mean to me.
But I thank you.
When the world is in chaos, let me hear your voice.
When it is still, let me know your presence.
Use me, when, where, and however you will.
Be glorified in my life, so that it may be Your life.
Amen.
(journal entry May 23rd 2010)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Broken Little Things
She reached up with her perfect arm, feeling her slender fingers wrap around the ripe fruit. It was cool and felt like it belonged in her hand. The wind blew gently through the trees, the smell of lilac and honeysuckle filled the evening air. She lifted the fruit to her mouth, her lips tingled as they touched it's skin. She took a bite, juice ran over her chin...and something inside of her, broke.
It broke inside of her. Then it broke inside of her husband. And their children, all the way down the lines of history to you and me. We are all broken. In more ways than one. Some of us more than others. No matter how we try to dress it up, conceal it, ignore it, deny it...it's there in all of us.
We as humans, were not meant to live as we now do.
This past weekend I went to the St. Louis Zoo. For those of you who don't know me well, or thought you did...I love animals. Animals have been something I've always been fascinated with since I was a kid. So I was looking forward to going to the zoo. It was a very nice zoo, with lots of animals. I was thoroughly impressed with all the animals and ability to clearly see them and appreciate their beauty.
Something happened though when I was looking at the great apes. Now, I'm not going to sit here and talk like I'm some sort of expert or that I've studied these animals for years or anything. I've read some books here and there and may know a few things, but I'm not well versed in all things ape.
The first apes I saw were the chimps. I could see one off a way in the "trees." Then I moved to the next window around the corner, and there was an older chimp sitting in the corner by the glass. There were lots of kids ignoring the "don't knock on the glass" sign. The parents weren't doing too good a job either.
I watched the chimp sitting in the corner, uninterested in anything. It's lip and jaw were slack and just hanging open. It just sat there, or slumped rather, leaning into the corner seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Staring at nothing.
It looked broken.
Like an old man in a nursing home who doesn't know who, or where he is. The lights were on, but nobody was home. This was not the life this chimp was meant to life. Granted it may have a great habitat, proper food and care...but is that the life it was born for?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not berating zoos or parks like this, I think they are great and fascinating. But I think that there's been enough studies and research done to show that animals in captivity are not the "same" as those in the wild.
As I walked around the zoo I started to see all the other animals in this light. Especially the bears (my personal favorite.) One of the grizzlies and one of the Malayan Sun bears just paced most of the time. Back and forth on the edge of their concrete enclosures. Like some mindless ritual or routine. The Amur Tigers, three of them, prowling about in an area greatly reduced from what their natural territory must be.
They were all broken.
Just like us.
We are broken by sin. When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit they changed forever, they changed us forever.
A few of the things that broke were our relationship with God, our relationship to Creation, and our relationship with each other.
God created us to be with Him.
(The Whole Bible)
This idea is the basis for all the books of the Bible. God created us. He would walk in the garden with Adam and Eve, until they hid from Him. They were banished from the Garden, but God still spoke to them. To Noah. To Abram. And He is still talking to this day.
Look what he says in Ezekiel:
"My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people."
-Ezekiel 37:27
Throughout history God is showing us ways to draw closer to Him. Ultimately it is Jesus' life, death, and resurrection that makes that possible. God's son did that for us. I think it's evident that He wants to be with us.
God created man to cultivate the ground, and rule over the animals.
(Genesis 1:26-29)
"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'"
-Genesis 1:26
Adam was placed in the garden to work it and take care of it, Genesis 2:15. Then the animals were brought to him and he named them. Genesis 2:19-20.
God created Eve to be with Adam.
(Genesis 2:21-25)
"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
-Genesis 2:20-22
Eve was created from Adam, for Adam. They were made to be together. To help each other and keep each other company. I can't think of a greater human example of brokenness than that of the relationship between men and women.
Then, the serpent came.
They ate the fruit.
Everything changed.
We were broken.
Broken from God
The immediate response to sin was for Adam and Eve to hide. We don't want God to see us for what we really are. There are many ways people deal with this. Some will seek an easier answer to God, easier than faith. By doing works, things they can say, "Look what good things I did to earn my way here."
Others will deny God's existence. We can't admit to feeling separated from God if we don't think He exists. Yet others try to scientifically prove He is real. Or that we are all gods and shouldn't feel bad about anything if it comes from inside us. This list could go on and on with the things we do to fill that gap, that breach in our soul that is missing God.
Broken from Others
War. Hate. Violence.
Those things pretty much sum up this point. This one is violently demonstrated when Cain kills Able because Able obeyed God. It's no wonder that being broken from God, the one who created us, would cause us to be broken from each other. Adam blamed Eve when God found them after they ate of the tree.
Somehow we have it in our head that by disassociating with people we think are "less" than us, it makes us better. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Jesus told the disciples to be in the world not of it. He also said that he came to heal the sick, for the healthy do not need a doctor.
So, especially in Christian circles, we've got a mind set that we need to distance ourselves from sinners, the lost.
And we quickly forget that we are just as guilty. We think we're better, and we act it out.
We have issues with friends, children, parents, spouses, co-workers and on and on. No relationship we could ever have is the way it is supposed to be. We can work at them every day, but we are broken from each other.
Broken from each other because we are broken from God.
Broken from Creation
We are no longer in dominion of creation. And as much as I love nature, we were never in "harmony" with it. Read the Creation story again. God put Adam in charge of the animals and plants. But because of Sin, we are subject to them. We don't live in nature and creation as God intended.
We destroy nature to live. We consume everything. There is little awe and respect for what God made.
The work God made us to do, most people don't do, and wouldn't know how to do. Our bodies were not made to sit in plush office chairs 6 days a week. We were not made to spend our lives watching TV.
So what do we see? Obesity and other eating disorders. Health problems from working too much. Ergonomic cushions to prevent carpel tunnel. ADHD, depression, social anxiety. Addictions to fantasies that are not, and can never be real.
I honestly believe that these are things we have brought on ourselves with the way we live.
I'm not saying we all need to torch our houses, quit our jobs and go live in the woods. But we need to be aware that this isn't what we were made for.
The Fix
There is a solution to this. A cast to heal the break if you will. And that is Jesus. He came and gave us an opportunity to reconnect with God the Father. We can restore that relationship with Him. Through Jesus.
In restoring our relationship with God, we can allow Him to fix our relationship with others. Our relationship with His creation.
But like all breaks and wounds, healing takes time. You can set an arm after it is broken, but it takes time for the bone to heal. God fixes us, and He will work on us the rest of our life if we let Him.
We can't think that simply saying a prayer and returning to the life we know will do anything.
God changes us, makes us a new creation. We choose to reach up and pluck that fruit from the tree again. And God will correct us if we let Him. Or we can choose to ignore Him. Again.
Like with the broken bone, the doctor will tell you how to take care of it, to allow the best healing. God has provided all the instructions we need in the Word. Through the Word. It is there that we find the healing, the restoration we seek. It's in the Word, the living and active Word of God that we are mended.
Like that chimp I saw at the zoo. It was technically a chimp, but it wasn't living the life it was born to live. Perhaps as it sat there, slack jawed and staring it was dreaming. Of what life would be like to be free. Free of the broken life it was living.
Climbing trees living in it's natural environment. Playing, fighting, and defending. Seeking food when it was hungry, and unafraid to reach out for that next branch.
The Fear
There is a fear that comes from a break. A fear of it happening again. I know when I broke my collar bone in a car accident, I was overly cautious in making left hand turns for years after the accident.
Fear will cripple us. Prevent us from living.
A study published in 2008 suggested that 1 in 3 animals raised in captivity will survive upon release into the wild. They lack the survival skills needed to hunt, evade, and fight. It is much the same with us. We are living a life we weren't meant to live. Apart from God, apart from each other, apart from creation.
But if we trust in God, and seek Jesus, we can live a life that is so much more full than the life we live crippled by sin. We can enjoy a life of wisdom and instruction from God instead of floundering in the dark. We can live together and appreciate each other more instead of arguing and hating. We can walk outside and see the beauty of creation instead of the glow of a monitor.
Reach out to God.
Extend your broken soul to Him and he will heal you. We are all broken little things, but God is bigger and more powerfull than anything. He, and he alone can fix us, make us whole, unbroken.
"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8
It broke inside of her. Then it broke inside of her husband. And their children, all the way down the lines of history to you and me. We are all broken. In more ways than one. Some of us more than others. No matter how we try to dress it up, conceal it, ignore it, deny it...it's there in all of us.
We as humans, were not meant to live as we now do.
This past weekend I went to the St. Louis Zoo. For those of you who don't know me well, or thought you did...I love animals. Animals have been something I've always been fascinated with since I was a kid. So I was looking forward to going to the zoo. It was a very nice zoo, with lots of animals. I was thoroughly impressed with all the animals and ability to clearly see them and appreciate their beauty.
Something happened though when I was looking at the great apes. Now, I'm not going to sit here and talk like I'm some sort of expert or that I've studied these animals for years or anything. I've read some books here and there and may know a few things, but I'm not well versed in all things ape.
The first apes I saw were the chimps. I could see one off a way in the "trees." Then I moved to the next window around the corner, and there was an older chimp sitting in the corner by the glass. There were lots of kids ignoring the "don't knock on the glass" sign. The parents weren't doing too good a job either.
I watched the chimp sitting in the corner, uninterested in anything. It's lip and jaw were slack and just hanging open. It just sat there, or slumped rather, leaning into the corner seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Staring at nothing.
It looked broken.
Like an old man in a nursing home who doesn't know who, or where he is. The lights were on, but nobody was home. This was not the life this chimp was meant to life. Granted it may have a great habitat, proper food and care...but is that the life it was born for?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not berating zoos or parks like this, I think they are great and fascinating. But I think that there's been enough studies and research done to show that animals in captivity are not the "same" as those in the wild.
As I walked around the zoo I started to see all the other animals in this light. Especially the bears (my personal favorite.) One of the grizzlies and one of the Malayan Sun bears just paced most of the time. Back and forth on the edge of their concrete enclosures. Like some mindless ritual or routine. The Amur Tigers, three of them, prowling about in an area greatly reduced from what their natural territory must be.
They were all broken.
Just like us.
We are broken by sin. When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit they changed forever, they changed us forever.
A few of the things that broke were our relationship with God, our relationship to Creation, and our relationship with each other.
God created us to be with Him.
(The Whole Bible)
This idea is the basis for all the books of the Bible. God created us. He would walk in the garden with Adam and Eve, until they hid from Him. They were banished from the Garden, but God still spoke to them. To Noah. To Abram. And He is still talking to this day.
Look what he says in Ezekiel:
"My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people."
-Ezekiel 37:27
Throughout history God is showing us ways to draw closer to Him. Ultimately it is Jesus' life, death, and resurrection that makes that possible. God's son did that for us. I think it's evident that He wants to be with us.
God created man to cultivate the ground, and rule over the animals.
(Genesis 1:26-29)
"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'"
-Genesis 1:26
Adam was placed in the garden to work it and take care of it, Genesis 2:15. Then the animals were brought to him and he named them. Genesis 2:19-20.
God created Eve to be with Adam.
(Genesis 2:21-25)
"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
-Genesis 2:20-22
Eve was created from Adam, for Adam. They were made to be together. To help each other and keep each other company. I can't think of a greater human example of brokenness than that of the relationship between men and women.
Then, the serpent came.
They ate the fruit.
Everything changed.
We were broken.
Broken from God
The immediate response to sin was for Adam and Eve to hide. We don't want God to see us for what we really are. There are many ways people deal with this. Some will seek an easier answer to God, easier than faith. By doing works, things they can say, "Look what good things I did to earn my way here."
Others will deny God's existence. We can't admit to feeling separated from God if we don't think He exists. Yet others try to scientifically prove He is real. Or that we are all gods and shouldn't feel bad about anything if it comes from inside us. This list could go on and on with the things we do to fill that gap, that breach in our soul that is missing God.
Broken from Others
War. Hate. Violence.
Those things pretty much sum up this point. This one is violently demonstrated when Cain kills Able because Able obeyed God. It's no wonder that being broken from God, the one who created us, would cause us to be broken from each other. Adam blamed Eve when God found them after they ate of the tree.
Somehow we have it in our head that by disassociating with people we think are "less" than us, it makes us better. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Jesus told the disciples to be in the world not of it. He also said that he came to heal the sick, for the healthy do not need a doctor.
So, especially in Christian circles, we've got a mind set that we need to distance ourselves from sinners, the lost.
And we quickly forget that we are just as guilty. We think we're better, and we act it out.
We have issues with friends, children, parents, spouses, co-workers and on and on. No relationship we could ever have is the way it is supposed to be. We can work at them every day, but we are broken from each other.
Broken from each other because we are broken from God.
Broken from Creation
We are no longer in dominion of creation. And as much as I love nature, we were never in "harmony" with it. Read the Creation story again. God put Adam in charge of the animals and plants. But because of Sin, we are subject to them. We don't live in nature and creation as God intended.
We destroy nature to live. We consume everything. There is little awe and respect for what God made.
The work God made us to do, most people don't do, and wouldn't know how to do. Our bodies were not made to sit in plush office chairs 6 days a week. We were not made to spend our lives watching TV.
So what do we see? Obesity and other eating disorders. Health problems from working too much. Ergonomic cushions to prevent carpel tunnel. ADHD, depression, social anxiety. Addictions to fantasies that are not, and can never be real.
I honestly believe that these are things we have brought on ourselves with the way we live.
I'm not saying we all need to torch our houses, quit our jobs and go live in the woods. But we need to be aware that this isn't what we were made for.
The Fix
There is a solution to this. A cast to heal the break if you will. And that is Jesus. He came and gave us an opportunity to reconnect with God the Father. We can restore that relationship with Him. Through Jesus.
In restoring our relationship with God, we can allow Him to fix our relationship with others. Our relationship with His creation.
But like all breaks and wounds, healing takes time. You can set an arm after it is broken, but it takes time for the bone to heal. God fixes us, and He will work on us the rest of our life if we let Him.
We can't think that simply saying a prayer and returning to the life we know will do anything.
God changes us, makes us a new creation. We choose to reach up and pluck that fruit from the tree again. And God will correct us if we let Him. Or we can choose to ignore Him. Again.
Like with the broken bone, the doctor will tell you how to take care of it, to allow the best healing. God has provided all the instructions we need in the Word. Through the Word. It is there that we find the healing, the restoration we seek. It's in the Word, the living and active Word of God that we are mended.
Like that chimp I saw at the zoo. It was technically a chimp, but it wasn't living the life it was born to live. Perhaps as it sat there, slack jawed and staring it was dreaming. Of what life would be like to be free. Free of the broken life it was living.
Climbing trees living in it's natural environment. Playing, fighting, and defending. Seeking food when it was hungry, and unafraid to reach out for that next branch.
The Fear
There is a fear that comes from a break. A fear of it happening again. I know when I broke my collar bone in a car accident, I was overly cautious in making left hand turns for years after the accident.
Fear will cripple us. Prevent us from living.
A study published in 2008 suggested that 1 in 3 animals raised in captivity will survive upon release into the wild. They lack the survival skills needed to hunt, evade, and fight. It is much the same with us. We are living a life we weren't meant to live. Apart from God, apart from each other, apart from creation.
But if we trust in God, and seek Jesus, we can live a life that is so much more full than the life we live crippled by sin. We can enjoy a life of wisdom and instruction from God instead of floundering in the dark. We can live together and appreciate each other more instead of arguing and hating. We can walk outside and see the beauty of creation instead of the glow of a monitor.
Reach out to God.
Extend your broken soul to Him and he will heal you. We are all broken little things, but God is bigger and more powerfull than anything. He, and he alone can fix us, make us whole, unbroken.
"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8
Friday, April 9, 2010
Call to Arms
"This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war."
- Vox Populi, by 30 Seconds to Mars
Did you know that as followers of Jesus we are called to war?
Well, we are.
But we are not called to fight with guns and bombs. We do not fight against other people, or religions, or nations.
But we do have an enemy. The Enemy. He's been our enemy since the beginning in Eden. He's been working against God ever since. Jesus said this in John 8:44
There are many other places in the Word that give other descriptions of the Enemy and his character. One other I'll mention here is also from Jesus
So we know we are in a battle. We know who are Enemy is. What now?
We take up arms.
Paul lines out in Ephesians 6 what these arms are. (verses 10-18)
The Belt of Truth
"...Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,..."
The belt. It holds everything together. And what does Paul call it?
Truth.
"A verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like" is one of the definitions in the dictionary. But truth being verified, is not where it stops for us. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..." So for us, Jesus is Truth. Jesus is a verified or indisputable fact. He is what holds everything together. He holds us together.
So if we are buckled with truth, we must live in truth. Lying does not become a follower of Jesus. We must live out what we claim to be. If we are Christians, let us be Christians. And to do that we have to know who Jesus is. How? Well that's coming up later.
The Breastplate of Righteousness
"...with the breastplate of righteousness in place,..."
The breastplate covers and protects our vital organs. Not least of which is our Heart. Paul is telling us that we cover and protect our heart with Righteousness. How do we get this Righteousness?
"...the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it."
Romans 9:30-31
Through faith in Jesus, in what he taught, lived, died and resurrected for, we can be covered with Righteousness. It is defined as: 'acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous." How do we do that? How does that protect our heart?
We strive to live upright, morally, virtuous...we do so by living like Jesus, and having faith in Him that he is the ultimate example of righteousness. This protects us because Jesus didn't do things that would hurt his heart. He wasn't sneaking around doing things that were questionable. He didn't talk back to his parents. He spent most of his time seeking God. The rest of the time he was teaching what he knew to others, helping them, caring for the poor, healing the sick.
And isn't that exactly what he told the disciples (and us) to do? And look what word is used at the beginning:
"Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
When we seek to serve others, and not ourselves, we guard our heart by living in righteousness. Righteousness that comes from Jesus.
Readiness from the Gospel of Peace
"...and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace."
Peace. The Gospel or Good News of Peace. It's the story of Jesus. What he accomplished on Earth, through the Cross and Resurrection.
Paul says in Ephesians 2:14-18
So this piece of weaponry is not as "obvious." The readiness comes from the Good News, the Cause if you will. The whole story of Jesus. By knowing it we should be eager to share it, eager to move and proclaim it. We shouldn't be content sitting still in our office chairs, and recliners! We should be ready to move to go when the opportunity comes to share Jesus.
We should know that story inside and out. Not just in our heads, but our hearts. To know what Jesus did for all mankind and for us individually. Know your story. Let it be ready to share with others so that they can encounter (maybe immediately, or in time) Jesus, and be restored to the Father.
The Shield of Faith
"...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
The shield. An ancient weapon known throughout most of history. Some were small, some large but all had the same purpose. To prevent weapons of the enemy from getting to you. Shields would take the brunt of the initial attacks. Be it stones, arrows, swords, or spears...the shield, if made well would deflect these things. Epesians 6 says that it will extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
How cool is that?! Not only does it stop them, it puts out the fire!
Fire consumes.
When used as a weapon fire is devastating. But when you pick up the shield of Faith, the flames are quenched. What did we already establish our faith in? Jesus. Our trust in him as our Savior, our King, our God. It is our faith in Him the creates this shield, this barrier protection. Something God has consistently told us He is.
Psalm 91:1-2
Another thing about the shield, it has to go in front of you or it is useless. So, our Faith in Jesus should go before us, otherwise we are vulnerable to attack. Keep your Faith before you, keep Jesus as your goal, and He will protect you.
Helmet of Salvation
"...Take the helmet of salvation..."
The helmet protects our head. And what is inside out head?
Our mind.
So Salvation is what protects our mind...if we keep it on. When we think, remember what Jesus did. Hebrews 2: 3-4 says:
When our minds start to wander. When we think of the nasty response. When we think of yelling and swearing...remember Salvation. Remember Jesus. Even when he was dying on the cross for us, bearing all our sin...he forgave us. All wrongs have been righted in his death. All blood owed has been paid. All the things we feel we are justified to have...have already been given.
Not only should we guard our thoughts from evil, but allow it to Trust and not Fear. God has already won. The only things we can loose (if we cling to him) are our earthly possessions, and our earthly body.
The Sword of the Spirit
"...and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Earlier I asked how do we get to know Jesus. The sword is the answer. The sword is the Word of God, Jesus is also the Word.
The Bible from Genesis to Revelation is all about God, and His love for us, and the plan of redemption that was laid out for Jesus. The Word is full of instructions, hope, song, stories, and love. And there is only one way to know it...and that's by digging into it. Read it. Let the words of scripture fill your heart, and Righteousness will come. Saturate your mind with the words of Jesus, and Salvation will guard it. Allow your faith to rest firmly on the promises of God that come from the Bible, and he will protect you.
Prayer
"...And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..."
Prayer. It's how we communicate with God. And communication in a battle is vital. If you can't hear what God is telling you...you can't move, you can't act, you can't fight.
Prayer doesn't have to be eloquent and lofty. It doesn't have to be full of the right words or said in just the right way. Let it come from your heart, your spirit. Jesus tells us how to pray in Matthew 6:5-14. You can also look at the other prayers Jesus makes throughout the four gospels. God knows what you need before ever you go to Him.
The War
We have a clear and present Enemy. We have been given our arms and are equipped. There is open lines of communication to Jesus. But we do not fight to draw blood. We do not fight to kill.
We fight on our knees in prayer.
We fight in song with worship.
We fight in actions by serving others.
We fight by laying down our lives for Jesus.
So I call out today, April 9th to all Christians in every city, in every country
Take up your arms!
Lift up the Sword of Truth!
Put on the Armor of God!
The Enemy is at hand.
Fall to your knees and pray!
Raise up your voice in Worship!
Call on our Savior to pour out His Spirit!
God stir our hearts to action.
Raise up our spirits in Strength and Courage!
Shelter and protect us,
Lead and guide us Father!
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war."
- Vox Populi, by 30 Seconds to Mars
Did you know that as followers of Jesus we are called to war?
Well, we are.
But we are not called to fight with guns and bombs. We do not fight against other people, or religions, or nations.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Ephesians 6:12
But we do have an enemy. The Enemy. He's been our enemy since the beginning in Eden. He's been working against God ever since. Jesus said this in John 8:44
"...He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
There are many other places in the Word that give other descriptions of the Enemy and his character. One other I'll mention here is also from Jesus
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..."
John 10:10
So we know we are in a battle. We know who are Enemy is. What now?
We take up arms.
Paul lines out in Ephesians 6 what these arms are. (verses 10-18)
The Belt of Truth
"...Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,..."
The belt. It holds everything together. And what does Paul call it?
Truth.
"A verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like" is one of the definitions in the dictionary. But truth being verified, is not where it stops for us. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..." So for us, Jesus is Truth. Jesus is a verified or indisputable fact. He is what holds everything together. He holds us together.
So if we are buckled with truth, we must live in truth. Lying does not become a follower of Jesus. We must live out what we claim to be. If we are Christians, let us be Christians. And to do that we have to know who Jesus is. How? Well that's coming up later.
The Breastplate of Righteousness
"...with the breastplate of righteousness in place,..."
The breastplate covers and protects our vital organs. Not least of which is our Heart. Paul is telling us that we cover and protect our heart with Righteousness. How do we get this Righteousness?
"...the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it."
Romans 9:30-31
Through faith in Jesus, in what he taught, lived, died and resurrected for, we can be covered with Righteousness. It is defined as: 'acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous." How do we do that? How does that protect our heart?
We strive to live upright, morally, virtuous...we do so by living like Jesus, and having faith in Him that he is the ultimate example of righteousness. This protects us because Jesus didn't do things that would hurt his heart. He wasn't sneaking around doing things that were questionable. He didn't talk back to his parents. He spent most of his time seeking God. The rest of the time he was teaching what he knew to others, helping them, caring for the poor, healing the sick.
And isn't that exactly what he told the disciples (and us) to do? And look what word is used at the beginning:
"Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’"
Matthew 25:37-40
When we seek to serve others, and not ourselves, we guard our heart by living in righteousness. Righteousness that comes from Jesus.
Readiness from the Gospel of Peace
"...and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace."
Peace. The Gospel or Good News of Peace. It's the story of Jesus. What he accomplished on Earth, through the Cross and Resurrection.
Paul says in Ephesians 2:14-18
"For he himself (Jesus) is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit."
So this piece of weaponry is not as "obvious." The readiness comes from the Good News, the Cause if you will. The whole story of Jesus. By knowing it we should be eager to share it, eager to move and proclaim it. We shouldn't be content sitting still in our office chairs, and recliners! We should be ready to move to go when the opportunity comes to share Jesus.
We should know that story inside and out. Not just in our heads, but our hearts. To know what Jesus did for all mankind and for us individually. Know your story. Let it be ready to share with others so that they can encounter (maybe immediately, or in time) Jesus, and be restored to the Father.
The Shield of Faith
"...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
The shield. An ancient weapon known throughout most of history. Some were small, some large but all had the same purpose. To prevent weapons of the enemy from getting to you. Shields would take the brunt of the initial attacks. Be it stones, arrows, swords, or spears...the shield, if made well would deflect these things. Epesians 6 says that it will extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
How cool is that?! Not only does it stop them, it puts out the fire!
Fire consumes.
When used as a weapon fire is devastating. But when you pick up the shield of Faith, the flames are quenched. What did we already establish our faith in? Jesus. Our trust in him as our Savior, our King, our God. It is our faith in Him the creates this shield, this barrier protection. Something God has consistently told us He is.
Psalm 91:1-2
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.'"
Another thing about the shield, it has to go in front of you or it is useless. So, our Faith in Jesus should go before us, otherwise we are vulnerable to attack. Keep your Faith before you, keep Jesus as your goal, and He will protect you.
Helmet of Salvation
"...Take the helmet of salvation..."
The helmet protects our head. And what is inside out head?
Our mind.
So Salvation is what protects our mind...if we keep it on. When we think, remember what Jesus did. Hebrews 2: 3-4 says:
"...This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord(Jesus), was confirmed to us by those who heard him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will."
When our minds start to wander. When we think of the nasty response. When we think of yelling and swearing...remember Salvation. Remember Jesus. Even when he was dying on the cross for us, bearing all our sin...he forgave us. All wrongs have been righted in his death. All blood owed has been paid. All the things we feel we are justified to have...have already been given.
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation..."
Isaiah 12:2
Not only should we guard our thoughts from evil, but allow it to Trust and not Fear. God has already won. The only things we can loose (if we cling to him) are our earthly possessions, and our earthly body.
The Sword of the Spirit
"...and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Earlier I asked how do we get to know Jesus. The sword is the answer. The sword is the Word of God, Jesus is also the Word.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. 'Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
John 1:1-5
The Bible from Genesis to Revelation is all about God, and His love for us, and the plan of redemption that was laid out for Jesus. The Word is full of instructions, hope, song, stories, and love. And there is only one way to know it...and that's by digging into it. Read it. Let the words of scripture fill your heart, and Righteousness will come. Saturate your mind with the words of Jesus, and Salvation will guard it. Allow your faith to rest firmly on the promises of God that come from the Bible, and he will protect you.
Prayer
"...And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..."
Prayer. It's how we communicate with God. And communication in a battle is vital. If you can't hear what God is telling you...you can't move, you can't act, you can't fight.
Prayer doesn't have to be eloquent and lofty. It doesn't have to be full of the right words or said in just the right way. Let it come from your heart, your spirit. Jesus tells us how to pray in Matthew 6:5-14. You can also look at the other prayers Jesus makes throughout the four gospels. God knows what you need before ever you go to Him.
The War
We have a clear and present Enemy. We have been given our arms and are equipped. There is open lines of communication to Jesus. But we do not fight to draw blood. We do not fight to kill.
We fight on our knees in prayer.
We fight in song with worship.
We fight in actions by serving others.
We fight by laying down our lives for Jesus.
So I call out today, April 9th to all Christians in every city, in every country
Take up your arms!
Lift up the Sword of Truth!
Put on the Armor of God!
The Enemy is at hand.
Fall to your knees and pray!
Raise up your voice in Worship!
Call on our Savior to pour out His Spirit!
God stir our hearts to action.
Raise up our spirits in Strength and Courage!
Shelter and protect us,
Lead and guide us Father!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Teller of Stories
Where would we be with out stories or the ones who share them with us?
A pale dismal place devoid of hope or dreams I should think.
Stories are the common thread through every human culture. Stories of hope, despair, valiant heroes and cunning villains can be found in every tribe and creed. But what is a story without someone to tell it.
"Australian Aborigines say that the big stories—the stories worth telling and retelling, the ones in which you may find the meaning of your life—are forever stalking the right teller, sniffing and tracking like predators hunting their prey in the bush."
~Robert Moss, Dreamgates
The story teller is a person who chronicles the history of a people. They capture the hopes and fears of their way of life, and embody them in fantastic tales. Sometimes they are colorful retellings of true events. For what story teller can resist making that one moment more dramatic or diabolical?
Other times the stories are complete fabrications of the storyteller's imagination. But in it's telling truths can be found that are more deep than any you'd find in a court of law. Like the stories Walter's uncles tell in "Secondhand Lions."
Sometimes, it's a fabrication of the truth. A clever disguise of real events told in a fictitious way. As in Hamlet's play revealing he knew the truth about his uncle.
Whether the story is factual or fictitious is irrelevant if a truth can be gleaned from it's depths.
Stories are meant to teach.
If we can learn to be compassionate from a tale about a talking bear, so be it. In growing up I heard stories from many places. Whether I believed they were stories of true events or not didn't matter. It was what those stories taught that was important.
While I hold the stories from the Bible to be true, and Aesop's Fables to be clever tales, the lessons I can take from each are as powerful. The Bible taught me not to kill or steal (and many other things) Aesop taught me things like using common sense and perseverance. Both helped me grow.
There are fundamental truths in these stories, and in others I've never read, that if we take the time to understand them, they help us grow into healthy adults. This is what Uncle Hub (from Secondhand Lions) tells Walt this after he was asked if any of the stories were true,
"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in."
Stories are meant to entertain.
Ancient story tellers would gather their people around a fire in the dark of night and weave incredible tales of might and valor. Today we sit in darkened movie theaters. But the same story told over a fire and projected on a silver screen carries the same lessons, and adventures.
Books, movies, songs and poetry can take us, however briefly, from our daily life to another place. We can escape into an world so unlike our own and disappear for hours at a time. Richard Adams takes us down into the grass with the rabbits of Watership Down and leads us on an amazing journey full of outer trials and inner strength.
JRR Tolkien invents a whole other world and fills it with languages and people that have never been seen before. In this world of Middle Earth, we find that they too have stories of their own. Stories that make their story so much richer and vibrant because
If a story told in whatever form can remove us from a problem for a time, give our mind a chance to disconnect, we can approach it with a fresh innovation. Stories can make us laugh or cry, or they can strike a cord so deep that something will stay with us for ever.
"Lord! when you sell a man a book you don't sell just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night - there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book. ~Christopher Morley
Stories are meant to endure.
Some stories are so specific in time that they may not live out the decade. But real stories. Stories that inspire, teach and entertain last forever. Just look at works like the Iliad, the Odyssey, works of Shakespeare, Poe, and Dickenson. Some stories grow and add new chapters as time goes on, others stand strong on their own.
Some, like the Battle of Thermopylae, become huge retellings of ancient achievement, and modern retelling. Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Narnia all continue to pull in young readers and minds, because they are so versatile in their craft. The stories told, while specific, are also universal. Selflessness, right and wrong, trust, friendships, the strength of family...
All these things are in stories. They are also in our everyday lives. Our lives are stories. Sometimes they are too big or close for us to realize what we are experiencing. So step back and listen to a story. If you can't listen to one, then tell one. For without stories we are nothing.
Stories are Powerful.
Nations rose out of stories. If our nation's stories are hopeful, we can be hopeful. If they are barbarous and depraved...we become likewise. If you need proof of that look at America. But that is a rant for another day.
A story told can not change a life. But what is gleaned or inspired by one can. Look at the greatest storyteller who ever lived. Jesus. He told complicated lessons about God, and life. His lessons weren't 3 point sermons with power point and video inserts. (not that there is anything wrong with that) but he told stories. And if he needed to he explained them.
So what greater thing could we aspire to than to be storytellers ourselves? If you are a follower of Christ, there should be no less than two stories always ready in your mind. His story, and yours.
“Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.”
~CS Lewis
Friday, January 23, 2009
My Favorite Reads
In preparation for my next blog, I thought I'd leave a list of my all time favorite books.
Jurassic Park - by Michael Crichton
I read this book when I was in the Dominican Republic on my first youth missions trip. It was amazing to read this amidst the lush island that was so similar to that of the book. The movie was on the verge of coming out and I just could not wait to find out what the story was all about. I've gone on to read many other Crichton books, and at least one other will appear on this list, but JP stands out as the first taste of a more visceral world. A story about the illusion of control, and how we truly have very little of it. Terrifying.
The Lord of the Rings - by JRR Tolkien
Wow. These books have been such an inspiration to me. Even before I'd ever read them. I had older brothers and later friends who had read them and thus impacted me. But I read them the summer before the movies hit. I remember my oldest bro telling me to make sure I read the chapter "The Council of Elrond" in one sitting. The depth and life Tolkien gave to his characters and world will never be outmatched in my opinion. A world and story to exist on it's own. Amazing.
The Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Again I waited until adulthood to read the whole series. It was again the summer before "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," hit theaters. Simply yet satisfying on a level that didn't knock me off my feet. The world vibrant and full of life and symbolism. While we all have to grow up at some point, it does not mean we have to loose our innocence. Moving.
Harry Potter - JK Rowling
Read books 1-6 right after I read Narnia, and book 7 two years later the day it came out. Another amazing series full of difficult choices and trials. A hero quest in a "modern" setting. The thing I love about this series is how Rowling incorporates almost every human emotion in the series. Love, hate, fear, vulnerability...all permeate the entire series, and culminates in an amazing climactic battle, hinged on a singular choice. Brilliant.
Eaters of the Dead - Michael Crichton
A very intriguing version of the Beowulf story. Crichton takes an outsiders approach to the ancient world of the vikings. Almost an anthropological study this story is incredible in it's detail of a culture I knew very little other than the typical stereotype. And his spin on Grendel and the overall approach to the Beowulf aspect is incredible. It gave me chills as the images came to life in my mind. Savage.
Hood - Stephen R Lawhead
This is an amazing new interpretation of the classic Robin Hood story. It tells of selfish young Bran and how he must rise above the loss of his father and land to become what his people need him to be. It speaks of responsibility and duty and other concepts lost on many people today. The transformation of Bran is the central theme of Hood, the first of 3 in the "King Raven" Trilogy. I can't wait to read Scarlet and Tuck. Redeeming.
The Chronicles of Prydain - Lloyd Alexander
These five books; The Book of Three, The Black Cauldron, The Castle of Llyr, Taran Wanderer, and The High King, are quite simply my favorite books of all time. This series focuses on the hero quest of Taran, a simple Assistant Pig-Keeper. How he longs to become a hero, and the difficult challenges he faces that lead him to that fate, that curb the desire to doing what must be done. I don't know how many times I've read this series, but it inspries me anew every time. It is full of lessons and truths that I've only encountered in small amounts elsewhere. While this maybe geared towards younger audiences, I think that any adult can enjoy them. Adventureous.
Other Recomendations:
-The Pendragon Cycle:
Taliesn, Merlin, Arthur, Pendragon, Grail - Stephen R. Lawhead
-Patrick - Stephen R. Lawhead
-The Song of Albion Trilogy:
Paradise War, Silver Hand, The Endless Knott - Stephen R. Lawhead
-Congo, Sphere, Lost World, Prey, State of Fear, and Next - Michael Crichton
-The Hobbit, Silmarillion, Children of Hurin - JRR Tolkien
-Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath - Cornellia Funke
-Watchmen - Allan Moore
-Stardust, Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
-Tales of HP Lovecraft - HP Lovecraft
Well, if you've made it this far I congratulate you. Welcome to the world of my rambling blogs. If you want to know more of what I think on these books, just email me. The address should be somewhere over on the side. Let me know what you think of these books if you've read them!
Jurassic Park - by Michael Crichton
I read this book when I was in the Dominican Republic on my first youth missions trip. It was amazing to read this amidst the lush island that was so similar to that of the book. The movie was on the verge of coming out and I just could not wait to find out what the story was all about. I've gone on to read many other Crichton books, and at least one other will appear on this list, but JP stands out as the first taste of a more visceral world. A story about the illusion of control, and how we truly have very little of it. Terrifying.
The Lord of the Rings - by JRR Tolkien
Wow. These books have been such an inspiration to me. Even before I'd ever read them. I had older brothers and later friends who had read them and thus impacted me. But I read them the summer before the movies hit. I remember my oldest bro telling me to make sure I read the chapter "The Council of Elrond" in one sitting. The depth and life Tolkien gave to his characters and world will never be outmatched in my opinion. A world and story to exist on it's own. Amazing.
The Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Again I waited until adulthood to read the whole series. It was again the summer before "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," hit theaters. Simply yet satisfying on a level that didn't knock me off my feet. The world vibrant and full of life and symbolism. While we all have to grow up at some point, it does not mean we have to loose our innocence. Moving.
Harry Potter - JK Rowling
Read books 1-6 right after I read Narnia, and book 7 two years later the day it came out. Another amazing series full of difficult choices and trials. A hero quest in a "modern" setting. The thing I love about this series is how Rowling incorporates almost every human emotion in the series. Love, hate, fear, vulnerability...all permeate the entire series, and culminates in an amazing climactic battle, hinged on a singular choice. Brilliant.
Eaters of the Dead - Michael Crichton
A very intriguing version of the Beowulf story. Crichton takes an outsiders approach to the ancient world of the vikings. Almost an anthropological study this story is incredible in it's detail of a culture I knew very little other than the typical stereotype. And his spin on Grendel and the overall approach to the Beowulf aspect is incredible. It gave me chills as the images came to life in my mind. Savage.
Hood - Stephen R Lawhead
This is an amazing new interpretation of the classic Robin Hood story. It tells of selfish young Bran and how he must rise above the loss of his father and land to become what his people need him to be. It speaks of responsibility and duty and other concepts lost on many people today. The transformation of Bran is the central theme of Hood, the first of 3 in the "King Raven" Trilogy. I can't wait to read Scarlet and Tuck. Redeeming.
The Chronicles of Prydain - Lloyd Alexander
These five books; The Book of Three, The Black Cauldron, The Castle of Llyr, Taran Wanderer, and The High King, are quite simply my favorite books of all time. This series focuses on the hero quest of Taran, a simple Assistant Pig-Keeper. How he longs to become a hero, and the difficult challenges he faces that lead him to that fate, that curb the desire to doing what must be done. I don't know how many times I've read this series, but it inspries me anew every time. It is full of lessons and truths that I've only encountered in small amounts elsewhere. While this maybe geared towards younger audiences, I think that any adult can enjoy them. Adventureous.
Other Recomendations:
-The Pendragon Cycle:
Taliesn, Merlin, Arthur, Pendragon, Grail - Stephen R. Lawhead
-Patrick - Stephen R. Lawhead
-The Song of Albion Trilogy:
Paradise War, Silver Hand, The Endless Knott - Stephen R. Lawhead
-Congo, Sphere, Lost World, Prey, State of Fear, and Next - Michael Crichton
-The Hobbit, Silmarillion, Children of Hurin - JRR Tolkien
-Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath - Cornellia Funke
-Watchmen - Allan Moore
-Stardust, Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
-Tales of HP Lovecraft - HP Lovecraft
Well, if you've made it this far I congratulate you. Welcome to the world of my rambling blogs. If you want to know more of what I think on these books, just email me. The address should be somewhere over on the side. Let me know what you think of these books if you've read them!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
This song I just heard on Monday. It comes from the animated film, Secret of Kells , or it's original title, Brendan et le secret de K...
-
This is pretty much a dump post of all my sketches in my current book. This will increase dramatically as the days come. I may not post ev...