Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?
from "Vox Populi" by 30 Seconds to Mars
Something is happening.
I am inspired. Stoked. Excited. Amped.
This is no euphoria induced moment of stimulated brain activity. This is genuine, unadulterated inspiration. And I have to say, it's about bloody time. The past two years have been awkward and challenging. But this post isn't about that. I just want to make it clear that that I've been in some sort of quagmire. My very own "Swamp of Sadness," if you'll allow a NeverEnding Story reference.
I've had moments of creative success. Weighed down by a lot of life and other things. Many were consequences of my own actions/choices. I've no delusions about that. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes. I just don't know how to get out of my own way. I'm stubborn that way.
Yet, here I am. I feel as if I've been banging against the soundproof glass of my own hubris. It's finally broken and the air is flowing again. It's like a waterfall exploding life into my imagination.
This isn't just about creativity either. At least not just in the artistic/writing sense. But I'll get to that in a minute.
As for the creativity...I haven't written any poems in almost 2 years. Not even bad ones. I haven't worked on my "epic" for almost nearly as long. Granted I've put another project ahead of those, one that I'm taking to the Baltimore Comic-Con in September. But even that has felt like a burden, with moments of joy. But all that is changing. The rivers of creativity have broken free of the levee and are rushing wild and free.
I'm tired of sitting on my hands and worrying if these projects will make it. Wondering if there will be a response to what I'm creating. It doesn't matter. They need to happen. They need to be set free and let out. It's time to stop waiting for whatever it is I've been waiting for.
I'm also done waiting for some specific 'ministry' to fit into my life. Oddly, the comic Coffee with Jesus has struck me deeply today. There is one where a guy promises to make changes in his life ending with spending more time with Jesus. Jesus points out that he should start with that, and see how the rest pan out.
I hear ya big guy. I hear ya.
The sad thing is, I know all this stuff. But for some reason, after watching G.I. Joe: Retaliation tonight, and listening to Led Zepplin's When the Levee Breaks, and 30 Seconds to Mars' Vox Populi on the drive home, my mind, imagination, and heart lit up like freakin' Rockefeller Center at Christmas! I don't know what that combination did, but it did. Stoked. Amped. Inspired.
Make someone's day better. Every day.
I know, rivetingly original right? But hey, it's possible. This world is full of darkness and shadows. We don't trust our government. Doesn't matter what side you're on. Everyone thinks politicians are hiding something. Or even full out lying about something or everything. There is distrust, hate, anger, fear and everything else running rampant in our streets and hearts.
But what good is any of that?
Damn right. Not a single solitary bit. I'm sick and tired of being afraid. Tired of hiding behind excuses and misunderstandings. I'm done. Sure, I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I could die in a car accident. I could catch some disease. Maybe something more horrific like a terrorist attack. Maybe, someone won't like my clothes! The horror. Someone might laugh at me in a store. Maybe I'll offend a friend because of my beliefs.
Done. I'm just done with all of that.
You know what else might happen tomorrow? Nothing. Because I refuse to do anything. We refuse to do anything. Earlier this week I was a little off in my mood. I was being a little short with a friend. Not their fault, but they were getting my offishness. After a good conversation I learned they had been having a really bad day. Made my little problems of not enough sleep/bumping my head with a post not that big a deal.
We've all got problems. We can wait for people to notice ours and be sympathetic toward us, or we can stop, look, listen for what's going on with them. Go watch the movie The Impossible. It's a gut wrenching tale of a family that went through the tsunami in 2004. Despite fearing her children and husband were dead, a mother and her eldest son stop to help a small boy. It went against basic instincts of survival. But they saved that kids life.
What I'm rambling on about here is that I, no...WE must put ourselves off our own radar. Before you get snarky with your check out person at Wal-Mart, realize they might be having the worst day of their life. Or maybe breakfast just didn't agree with them. What does it hurt you and me to be nice? It might cost us a little pride, or pity, or whatever chip we might be carrying on our shoulder today.
Don't surrender to the easy. The convenient. The darkness. Make a difference in someone's life. Make someone's life better today. Not to make yourself feel good (which you probably will) but because being nice is unexpected, and so uncommon.
I'm trying to incite a riot of kindness and love here. Let's flip the day on it's head and make someone smile. And don't just settle for family or friends. Let kindness, hope, love and compassion grown in your heart like a garden. Take the fruit and pass it around. For me this comes out of my faith. But it's not about earning points or following a dogma.
It's about seeing the folks around you as people, and not obstacles to get around or tools to get you what you want. We are all at different places in life. We can't expect everyone around us to be on the same page as us, or even in the same book. But being kind, and genuine...that transcends languages, orientations, choices, politics, and just about everything. Doesn't mean it's appreciated, or always noticed. That doesn't make it any less kind or real.
So, be inspired. In life, creativity, whatever. Make someone's day better today. Tomorrow. Whenever. Wherever
Ever want to just stop?
Do you want to surrender?
Or fight for victory?
Don't quit. Incite kindness and inspiration. We the people, YOU and me, have a voice.
Even if no one is listening.
grace, peace + hope
-Jesse
